What is your dream job? Why?
Rory,
Growing up, I was always referred to as "the smart one" while your auntie Whitney was "the pretty one". (Although auntie Whit is pretty smart, and I would like to think that I'm not so bad to look at, either.) Whenever your poppy would introduce me to one of his clients or golf partners, he would immediately delve into a detailed list of my academic accomplishments and extra-curricular activities. His rote memorization of my grades and test scores always reminded me of a baseball fan reciting a player's stats.
Everyone, including me, thought I would become a lawyer or a doctor or something that required at least 6 years of college. So, you can imagine their surprise when I decided to become a teacher...and not even a high school teacher, but a kindergarten teacher. I remember someone telling me that becoming a primary teacher was such a "waste". That comment really stuck with me, and I wish I could go back in time and
It's true that I never discussed the symbolism in an Edgar Allen Poe poem, or solved theorems with my kindergarteners, but that doesn't mean I wasn't challenged. I was constantly reworking my lesson plans in a way that accommodated and engaged all 20 of my very different students who all came from very different backgrounds. I worked way over 40 hours a week and took work home almost every night. I had to deal with countless behavioral issues, difficult and absent parents, and standardized testing. I thought constantly about my students and quickly realized how difficult it is to "leave your work at work" when you're a teacher. Especially when over half of your students come to school hungry and wearing the same clothes as the day before.
So, is teaching my dream job? Yes and no. I enjoyed it, and I was good at it, but it was all-consuming, and every year required more of me than the last. After my fourth year of teaching, I became burned out and frustrated with the education system in general. I wanted a change, and boy did I get one, because I became pregnant with you almost immediately after I had made the difficult decision not to return to the classroom. Divine intervention? I like to think so.
The truth is, quitting teaching and having you gave me the opportunity to realize my true dream job: being your mom. I love that I am able to see you change and grow everyday. I am there for every important milestone, every fall, and every dirty diaper. For the first time in my life, I can't wait to "go to work" everyday. (Although, it would be nice if work started a little later than 5:30.) If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would ever be a stay-at-home-mom, I would have told you absolutely not. But now, I can't imagine doing anything else. Most people would agree that being a SAHM is the hardest job there is, and they're right. Most days are not without its challenges, but I think going to work is the harder job. For me, nothing would be more difficult than having to drop off my baby at a childcare center while I went to work for eight hours every day. So even though there are days when I don't shower or leave the house or have any adult interaction, I consider myself one of the lucky ones.
There may be a day when I choose to go back to work, but for now, I am living the dream, dirty diapers and all.
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