"I didn't know how much I loved your dad until I saw how much he loved you."
- a hormonal, first-time mom
Rory,
To be honest, I've put off writing this post for awhile now. And not because I didn't know what to say about your dad and my's relationship, but because I have so much to say that it's difficult for me to narrow it down. I've told you countless times how lucky you are to have such a wonderful dad. I even wrote a blog post about it. You are only a baby and I want you to stay that way for as long as possible, but when you do grow up and realize that you're ready to find a partner and start a family, I pray that you will find a husband as loving, supportive, and kind as your father.
Your dad and I have had our ups and downs like any other couple, but I've never once doubted my decision to marry him, even at such a young age. We met in college where we both worked at the computer lab in the education building. When I first began working at the lab, I had a boyfriend who I had been dating for 4 years. We broke up a few months later, and eventually I began to see your dad as more than a friend. Our first "date" was actually a weekend trip to Austin to visit our mutual friend, Tony. The 4 hour drive passed so quickly because we talked nonstop the whole time. That's how it's always been with us. We can tell each other anything, even the hard stuff. He was the first man who I truly felt like I could be myself around.
Our relationship isn't particularly romantic or extravagant. But it's comfortable and it's strong. I think what makes our marriage work is the fact that we balance each other out so well. I'm organized, high strung, and cynical. Your dad, on the other hand, is care-free and a bit of a procrastinator. He is always telling me to relax and I am always reminding him to be on-time. He supports me but also puts me in my place, and I try to do the same. We love each other because of our flaws, not despite them.
After being married for five years, I've realized that romance isn't what makes a marriage strong. A solid marriage is built on acceptance, trust, and most importantly, laughter. It's the everyday things that count. Like when he brings me coffee in the morning or I cook him brisket, even though it disgusts me. It's about me making sure his soccer socks are washed every Wednesday and it's about your dad letting me sleep in on Saturday mornings. It's about encouraging each other to be our best selves and helping one another through tough times.
You probably won't see your dad and I hold hands or kiss in public, but that does't mean we're not in love. You may not see him bring me flowers or chocolate, and I probably won't write him love notes, but that doesn't mean that I don't get butterflies in my stomach every day at 5 when I hear the garage door opening.
You may even see us fighting every once in awhile, but please don't worry or think that we don't love each other anymore. Arguing is a part of every healthy relationship. It makes us stronger and helps us realize that marriage is hard work. We'll go through ups and downs, but we'll always come out of a slump stronger and even more dedicated to one another and our marriage than before.
Going through life with a supportive, loving partner like your dad makes me feel like I can do anything and overcome any obstacle that comes my way. I pray that one day you will be lucky enough to find someone as caring and selfless as your dad. No matter what happens, remember that just as I love you more and more each day, my love for your dad also grows with each passing day.
He is everything I every wanted in a husband and more.
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| Swimming in Brazil. |
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