No, Thank You, Random Neighbor Lady

I'm being stalked, y'all. No need to alert the authorities; no one is peeking through my windows hoping to catch a glimpse of me without my shirt on. (I don't even want to see me without my shirt on.) No, my stalker is of the safer, garden-loving old lady variety. Let me give you some background on the situation because I know you're on the edge of your seat, dying to know more.

We moved into our house last July, about 4 months before Rory was born. As my due date became near, I insisted on wobbling walking around the neighborhood several times a day because my cousin's best friend's sister-in-law knew someone who swore that her daily 2 mile walk caused her baby to be born a week before its due date. Seemed legit.

On one such walk in late October, Marcos and I unknowingly passed by my stalker's house. We noticed her lawn before we noticed her. "Look at that grass," said Marcos. "It's so green." (Maintaining a perfectly green lawn is one of Marcos' life goals. He dreams big, what can I say?) When we turned the corner and saw the front of her house, we saw a woman kneeling in front of her flower beds pulling weeds. She heard us talking and looked back. When she saw my enormous belly, a huge smile spread across her face. That was one of the best things about pregnancy: no one can resist a pregnant belly. Everyone wanted to touch my belly and everyone wanted to know the same three things. I got to the point where I just started saying, "November 3rd. Girl. Rory." This made waiting in line at Starbucks much more efficient.

Anyway, back to my stalker. Surprisingly she didn't ask when I was due or what I was having or give her unsolicited opinion on our name choice. She simply said, "What a blessing!" and then turned back to her gardening.

Marcos and I exchanged looks. "Excuse me?"

She turned back around and said, "Being pregnant. It's such a blessing. I hope you're enjoying it."

Now, remember, I was eight months pregnant and feeling anything but blessed, but for the rest of our walk and all through dinner, I couldn't stop thinking about what she said. She was right, of course. I know several friends/family members who had a very hard time getting pregnant and several who are still undergoing medical procedures in the hopes of a positive pregnancy test. It took us one month.

When people noticed I was pregnant, they tended to focus on post-pregnancy happenings and advice. You must be so ready for her to arrive. Don't forget to sleep while the baby sleeps. You're not vaccinating, are you? Remember, you can't spoil a baby. But this stranger reminded me to live in the moment and enjoy every minute of my pregnancy. I no longer prayed for Rory to come early.

A few months later, we were in the midst of Rory's four month sleep regression and decided to take a stroll around the neighborhood, this time in hopes that Rory would fall asleep. About halfway through our walk, we passed a few women talking on the sidewalk. Just as I was navigating the stroller around them, she caught my eye and gave Rory a huge smile. I recognized her immediately and prepared myself for an onslaught of platitudes I wasn't in the mood to hear. But this time, instead of gushing about what a blessing it is to have a baby, she looked right into my bloodshot eyes and said, "Thank you."

I looked behind me, because surely this strange woman wasn't speaking to me. I didn't even know her. What could she possibly be thanking me for?

She must have known that I was confused because she went on to say, "Having a baby is so difficult. Nobody understands how hard it is. You don't get much sleep and you don't have time for yourself anymore. So, I just wanted to thank you."

I felt like hugging this woman, or at the very least starting a slow-clap in her honor. Instead, I just smiled and we continued on our way. Once again, I couldn't get her words out of my mind. Her small expression of gratitude and understanding was just what I needed to hear after being up every two hours for several nights in a row. That night, instead of feeling frustrated when Rory woke up to nurse, I remembered that there was at least one person who understood what I was going through.

After that, I thought for sure our random run-ins with this lady were over, but just last week, we saw her at the grocery store. We were both heading to our cars with full carts, only Marcos and I had a cranky baby who was due for a nap and screaming at the top of her lungs. As soon as she saw us, she smiled that huge smile, patted my arm, and said, "It just gets better and better."

I looked from her to my crying baby and for the third time wondered how God knew just when and where to put this lady to help me make it through some of my toughest days. It was then that I realized I didn't have a stalker so much as a guardian angel. "Thank you," I told her. "I'm enjoying every minute of it."

Last Friday Rory's afternoon nap was shorter than usual, and she woke up pretty cranky. I put Rory in the stroller and purposely headed towards her house, hoping she would be out in the garden and offer me a few words of encouragement. I slowed down when we reached her house and was disappointed when she wasn't outside. I surreptitiously peered through her windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. And then it hit me. I was now the stalker. Oh how the tables have turned.

I don't even know my victim's name or if she has children of her own, but her thoughtful words have helped me through some difficult days, and I pray that she'll be outside working in her garden when Rory gets her first molar. If not, I may just have to knock on her door.

#marriedtoabrazilian

So, there has been a lot of soccer watching going on around here lately. Every 4 years it seems as though my husband becomes even more obsessed with "futbol" and I'm stuck watching countries I don't even care about battle it out on the soccer field for two hours three times a day. Its slightly annoying; even more so now that we have a mobile baby who doesn't understand why her dad is feeding her in the living room and refusing to make eye contact with her unless it's a commercial break.

But when Brazil plays, now that's different. Anyone who knows anything about Brazilians knows that they live and breath soccer. It's what they're known for. (That and delicious caipirinhas.) Even I get into the game when Brazil plays. I wear my yellow jersey with pride and shout at the TV like I know what's going on. (Just not too loudly because we quickly discovered that Rory is not a fan of cheering. Or booing. Or silent fist-pumping, for that matter.) Brazil is hosting the cup this year, which means the stakes are even higher.

We played Chile today and it was a nail-biter. There was 30 minutes of overtime and then it went to penalty kicks. Fortunately for Rory and I, Brazil came out on top. Here are some of my favorite snapshots from Rory's first World Cup.

Post-game family shot. Can't you just see the relief on his face? Yes, I realize I'm in need of a haircut/wash. I have an appointment next Saturday. (Will try to wash before then.)

Just the girls. I apologize for the lack of color. This filter was the only one that made posting on the internet acceptable.

The Brazilians. I predict some sort of an identity-crisis in her future. 

Weird Shit My Kid Does

I love Rory more than life itself, but my love for her does not blind me to the fact that she can be a bit...odd at times.

1. She licks the wall. 

Yum?

2. She chases the vacuum. 
Most kids run from the vacuum, but I am fortunate (?) to have a baby who literally chases after it. She actually gets excited when she sees me pull it out from the closet. I'm guessing that this is God's way of making up for the fact that Rory hates the car. Too bad the vacuum can't take us to the grocery store.

3. She makes this face. 

4...And this one. 

An oldie but a goodie. 

5. She looks into my eyes while she poops. 

It's a little awkward.

Smart Girl

This commercial from Verizon has been getting a lot of air time lately, and as a mother of a girl, it's really encouraged me to think about the whole nature vs. nurture debate and my role in Rory's personalty development.  I studied child development and I've been around children enough to know that both nature and nurture contribute to one's personality and sense of self. But which plays the bigger role in personality development? Will Rory's future interests be a product of her innate tendencies and characteristics or a result of our reactions to certain behaviors throughout her formative years?  I personally believe that nature is the main contributor, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't think one's environment and life circumstances aren't major factors when it comes to temperament and personality. That means that everything I say and do has the potential to impact Rory's interests, self-esteem, and possibly even her future career. No wonder I have trouble sleeping. That's a lot of pressure.

There have been hundreds of studies done on this very topic, and almost all of them say the same thing: parents treat their daughters very differently than they treat their sons. We're all guilty of this. When people meet babies for the first time, they usually speak to girls in a much higher voice and use words like "beautiful" and "sweet" to describe the new baby, while boys are "handsome" and "strong". Girls wear skirted onesies that say "future cheerleader" and boys wear shirts that say "future athlete".

As a teacher I often caught myself asking boys to help with tasks involving carrying or lifting and reserved cleaning and organizing jobs for my girl students. My students entered kindergarten already aware of "boy colors" and "girl colors". God forbid if I ever gave one of my male students a pink anything. I once heard a five-year-old tell his classmates that if boys liked pink it meant that they were gay. But why can't boys wear pink and play with baby dolls without being made fun of by their peers? And why can't girls prefer Legos to Barbies and playing soccer to playing house? Perhaps if this were the case, we would have more males who want to be teachers or nurses and more females going into the engineering field.

Don't get me wrong, I see no problem in dressing girls in pink and putting bows in their hair. Rory already has more oversized, flowery headbands than I can count and I just ordered her a purple tutu. But I also plan on enrolling Rory in karate and soccer and buying her Legos and a toolset. I will encourage her to get dirty and look for worms after it rains.  If she decides that she prefers Hot Wheels and GI Joes to Barbies, I won't be worried or upset. And if God ever blesses me with a son, I won't blink an eye when he wants to wear my heels and try on his sister's dresses.

I can't control how the world sees gender. Once children go to school, they will be exposed to all kinds of stereotypes and gender bias, but I can control what I say and do. I never want Rory to think she can't do something because she's a girl. I want her to know that she can wear dresses and kick ass. I will support her whether she chooses to go into engineering or becomes a stay-at-home-mom. (We all know which of these is the more difficult career.) I plan on reminding her as often as possible that beauty fades, but kindness and intelligence last a lifetime. Fortunately, I have awhile before I really have to worry about any of this. But until then, the phrase "pretty girl" has been permanently replaced with "smart girl". As in, "Hey there smart girl. Let's go put on your purple tutu and play with some Legos."

It's Okay to Have Some Fun

Rory is at that glorious age when she won't remember anything we say. This is good because I swear. A lot. I know it's a little brass and a lot trashy, but it's a hard habit to break. Sometimes there's just no other word that will do. Saying "fudge" or "gosh" doesn't have the same effect, especially while driving. I mean I want that other driver who is driving way too slow and can't possibly hear anything I say to know how angry I am that he is choosing to drive the speed limit. (Just in case my tailgating isn't getting the message across.) Despite my bad habit,  I promise I will do everything I can to ensure that Rory's first word is not a four letter one. Unless it's Mama. I would be okay with that.

Another benefit of Rory not yet understanding anything we say is that we are able to spice things up a little during story time. One of Rory's favorite books is called "It's Okay to be Different" by Todd Parr. It's a super cheesy book meant to boost children's self-esteem and promote tolerance. (Barf.) Honestly, I think the only reason Rory likes it so much is because it's super colorful. Also because she's a baby. Even though it's a cute book, it gets a little old when you read it 3 times a day. 

Marcos usually reads to Rory in Portuguese, so I don't always understand what he's saying, but I know enough to notice when he's not reading a book correctly. So, a few nights ago, I noticed that Marcos wasn't following the script and he seemed particularly pleased with himself (ie smirking). Rory, of course, was none the wiser. She still smiled when she saw the page with the Zebras and repeatedly reached for the book in an attempt to put in in her mouth (despite the fact that she was holding an actual teether in her hand). 

"What the fuck was that?" I asked once he was finished. (I told you I swear a lot.) 

"Nothing," he said. "I just improvised a little." 

"Read it again. In English." 

Here are some of my favorites: 

It's okay to be a woman. 

It's okay to let one rip. 

It's okay to have diabetes. 

It's okay to overreact.
(Seriously, the mittens are right there. Calm down, snowman.)

It's okay to speak German. 

It's okay to not know how to fish.
(Where the hell is the bait??)

It's okay to be stuck in the eighties.

It's okay if you can't grow a proper mustache. 

It's okay to be gay.
Or
It's okay to be the mascot for a gum that loses it's flavor after 10 seconds.
I can't decide which one I like better. Thoughts?

Before we know it, Rory will be repeating every single thing we say. Until then, it's okay to have some fun.

30 Things Rory Should Know About Me: Part 4

List 10 things you would tell your 16-year-old self.

1. That glitter eye shadow makes you look like a stripper.

2. Relax. Everything is going to work out.

3. That wasn't true love. Not even close.

4. Call grandma.

5. Your teachers are lying...you will never need to know this.

6. Don't worry so much about what other people think.

7. Don't sneak out of the house. You're going to get caught.

8. Use eye cream.

9. Give mom a break.

10. Save your money. No one needs that many Abercrombie and Fitch T-shirts.

Rory Keiko Seven Month Update

Rory,

Today when your dad left the house he said, "Enjoy her. She's growing fast." Unfortunately, he's right. This month was full of exciting milestones, and sometimes I wish time would slowdown so I could have more time to enjoy every little thing you do.

At the beginning of this month, your grandma and grandpa from Brazil came to visit you along with your Auntie Kayra. They couldn't get enough of you. Your grandma Keiko (who you're named after) would have held you for 10 days straight if she could have. On their first day here (May 10th), we got almost one foot of snow! It was exciting for your grandparents because they've only seen snow a few times in their whole lives.

You also sprouted your first two teeth this month. In the days leading up to their arrival, you drooled a lot and fussed a little, but they didn't seem to bother you too much. You constantly ran your tongue over them for the first few days, but eventually you got used to them. Now you are learning to use them to bite your food, which means I am able to give you bigger and bigger chunks.

You had your first swim lesson this month, and you loved it. You can't blow bubbles or go completely under yet, but you enjoy floating on your back and "jumping in" with daddy's help.

You are able to stand on your own for a few seconds and you are this close to crawling. You can turn and scoot backwards, but you haven't quite figured out how to go forward. I am trying to put you on your tummy more so that you have lots of opportunities for practice.

Sometimes we go to story time at the library and you really enjoy looking at the other babies and hearing the fun songs. We go to the park almost everyday, and you still love to swing.

Last night we went to the Rockies game. Unfortunately, it was rained out during the 6th inning, but we were nice and warm in one of the suites. You couldn't take your eyes off the game, and you became a little startled every time the crowd cheered after a good play. The Rockies ended up losing, but we had a good time, anyway.

One of the most exciting/stressful things to happen this month was that we weaned you out of your Baby Merlin Magic Sleepsuit. The first few nights were difficult because you weren't used to having your legs and hands completely free, but it didn't take you too long to get used to it. Now when we put you down, you immediately roll onto your stomach. This makes mommy and daddy nervous, but Dr. Hall said it was okay, and you have been sleeping soundly.

You have changed and grown so much this month. I can't believe we will have a walking, talking baby soon. Rory, you are such a blessing. Thank you for being you.

At your first Rockies game! 

You and Dinger! 

Standing!

You were looking at the lifeguard as he walked past...

You look just like your dad when you sleep. 

Snow in May. 

Auntie Kayra feeding you.

Love at first sight.

Two teeth! 

The Most Beautiful Sound in the World

So I (okay, really it was Marcos) finally figured out how to upload videos to my blog!

30 Things Rory Should Know About Me: Part 3

Describe your relationship with your spouse.


"I didn't know how much I loved your dad until I saw how much he loved you."
- a hormonal, first-time mom

Rory,

To be honest, I've put off writing this post for awhile now. And not because I didn't know what to say about your dad and my's relationship, but because I have so much to say that it's difficult for me to narrow it down. I've told you countless times how lucky you are to have such a wonderful dad. I even wrote a blog post about it. You are only a baby and I want you to stay that way for as long as possible, but when you do grow up and realize that you're ready to find a partner and start a family, I pray that you will find a husband as loving, supportive, and kind as your father.

Your dad and I have had our ups and downs like any other couple, but I've never once doubted my decision to marry him, even at such a young age. We met in college where we both worked at the computer lab in the education building. When I first began working at the lab, I had a boyfriend who I had been dating for 4 years. We broke up a few months later, and eventually I began to see your dad as more than a friend. Our first "date" was actually a weekend trip to Austin to visit our mutual friend, Tony. The 4 hour drive passed so quickly because we talked nonstop the whole time. That's how it's always been with us. We can tell each other anything, even the hard stuff. He was the first man who I truly felt like I could be myself around.

Our relationship isn't particularly romantic or extravagant. But it's comfortable and it's strong. I think what makes our marriage work is the fact that we balance each other out so well. I'm organized, high strung, and cynical. Your dad, on the other hand, is care-free and a bit of a procrastinator. He is always telling me to relax and I am always reminding him to be on-time. He supports me but also puts me in my place, and I try to do the same. We love each other because of our flaws, not despite them.

After being married for five years, I've realized that romance isn't what makes a marriage strong. A solid marriage is built on acceptance, trust, and most importantly, laughter. It's the everyday things that count. Like when he brings me coffee in the morning or I cook him brisket, even though it disgusts me. It's about me making sure his soccer socks are washed every Wednesday and it's about your dad letting me sleep in on Saturday mornings. It's about encouraging each other to be our best selves and helping one another through tough times.

You probably won't see your dad and I hold hands or kiss in public, but that does't mean we're not in love. You may not see him bring me flowers or chocolate, and I probably won't write him love notes, but that doesn't mean that I don't get butterflies in my stomach every day at 5 when I hear the garage door opening.

You may even see us fighting every once in awhile, but please don't worry or think that we don't love each other anymore. Arguing is a part of every healthy relationship. It makes us stronger and helps us realize that marriage is hard work. We'll go through ups and downs, but we'll always come out of a slump stronger and even more dedicated to one another and our marriage than before.

Going through life with a supportive, loving partner like your dad makes me feel like I can do anything and overcome any obstacle that comes my way. I pray that one day you will be lucky enough to find someone as caring and selfless as your dad. No matter what happens, remember that just as I love you more and more each day, my love for your dad also grows with each passing day.
He is everything I every wanted in a husband and more.

Swimming in Brazil. 

Sweet P's Embroidery

One of my friends from high school has her own embroidery business based out of Nashville, TN. I'm pretty much obsessed with monograms. I would put Rory's name or initials on everything she owns if I could. I've been following Christin's creations on Instagram for awhile now, and as soon as she posted her monogrammed seersucker bathing suits, I knew Rory had to have one. Marcos' sister is getting married in Mexico next December, and we have both indoor and outdoor pools at our local rec centers, so she will have plenty of opportunities to show it off wear it. There are several color options, but I went with the aqua because as Marcos said the other day, "Does our daughter have any clothing that isn't pink?" Well, she does now. (He was quick to point out that the monogram is in fact pink.)

Christin was very helpful and returned all of my emails promptly. The suit arrived quickly and even came wrapped in a beautiful pink ribbon. I could tell immediately that the monogram was of high quality and will last a long time, even with a lot of wear. I can't recommend Sweet P Embroidery enough. There are a ton of great options for both boys and girls, and even adults. There is a lot of variety in types of pieces, thread colors, appliques, and fonts, and all of the items would make excellent gifts for baby showers, birthdays, graduations, or weddings. Here are some of my favorites:

If you already have something you would like monogrammed, Christin will do it for $10. I found a beautiful red velvet Burberry dress at a consignment sale (for $5!) that I plan to send to Christin in the next few months. I had a great experience with Sweet P's Embroidery, and I definitely plan on ordering more pieces soon. Also, it's a great feeling knowing that I'm helping support a hard-working stay-at-home-mom.

You can follow Christin on instagram with the username @sweetpembroidery or email her at sweetpembroidery1@gmail.com

Why Having a Dog is Nothing Like Having a Baby

This post is inspired by my BFF, Shannon, who became a mommy in January to her beautiful daughter, Olivia Reigh. We were texting yesterday about how difficult (and rewarding!) it is to be a new mom and how hard it is for our single, child-less friends to understand some of our choices. (Like saying no to a baby shower because it started right at baby's nap time, and that just wouldn't be fun for anyone within a ten mile radius.) Then Shannon mentioned that one of her friends said that she knows what it's like to have a baby because she has a new puppy. I literally laughed out loud. Then I realized that this would make an excellent blog post. And then I laughed some more.

1. Dogs can be left at home.
A few months after Rory was born, I had to get a cavity filled.I tried leaving Rory in her car seat next to my chair, but two minutes later she was already wailing louder than the dental drill. The receptionist tried keeping her busy and was nice enough to walk her around the office, but that only lasted about five minutes. I realized at that point that my only choice was to allow her to sit with me during the procedure. So, she literally sat on my lap and watched as the dentist filled my cavity. Needless to say, Marli stayed at home.

2. Dogs don't need to eat every 2 hours.
We have always just been able to leave food out for Marli. She's not one of those dogs that will eat it all in one sitting, but even if you have to feed your dog twice a day, I'm pretty sure the SPCA won't be knocking at your door if you're a few hours late coming home one day. Babies, on the other hand, seem to eat constantly when they're first born. Rory is just now able to go 3-4 hours between feedings. Imagine having to come home/wake up every two hours to feed your dog. I have a feeling there would be a lot less dog-lovers out there if this were the case.

3. Dogs sleep. Alot.
Sure, newborns do too, but that doesn't last long. The older dogs get, the more they sleep. The opposite is true for babies. Puppy owners may have a few rough nights when their dogs are getting used to their new surroundings, but eventually they learn to sleep when you sleep. Also, if your dog makes noise in the middle of the night, you can throw something at their crate, tell them to be quiet, and put a pillow over your head to drown out the noise. For some reason this method is frowned upon when used with babies.

4. You can lock your dog in another room when company comes over.
Now that Rory is more mobile, having an adult-conversation is virtually impossible. I may be looking at you and nodding my head at all the right times, but I'm not really listening. Instead I'm mentally calculating when Rory needs to eat next and scanning the perimeter for choking hazards. If Marli is being obnoxious when we have company over, I simply put her outside or lock her in our bedroom.

5. Dogs can take obedience classes.
If you want to improve you dog's behavior, you simply sign it up for obedience classes. The professionals at PETCO will teach your dog to sit, heal, and roll over in about two months time. If your son or daughter happens to be a hellion, there is no such thing as baby obedience classes. (Although maybe there should be.) That means that you alone are responsible for teaching you child to say "thank you", pee in the toilet, and apologize when they do things like wipe their nose on a stranger's shirt.

6. You don't constantly agonize about your dog's development.
If your dog does things like eat poop or chase his tail, he's quirky. No big deal. In fact, you may even brag about your dog's idiosyncrasies. Dog owners don't call their vets at 3 in the morning and ask if they should be concerned that their dog hasn't learned to roll over yet. When your child is behind or develops odd habits, you think about it constantly. You scour the internet for any proof that your child may still be considered "normal", despite the fact that she seems to be obsessed with licking the carpet.

8. You can give your dog away.
If you realize that owning a dog isn't for you, or your circumstances change, you can always give your dog away. You can ask a friend to take it or drop it off at the local shelter. If your kid is driving you crazy or you realize that your baby is making it hard for you to be the mom you always imagined you would be, too bad. You're stuck with her forever. Or at least until she's 18 and it's no longer considered illegal to kick her out of the house.

9. You can put your dog on a leash. 
Okay, maybe there are some similarities between being a mom and being a dog owner.


Thanks for the idea, Shannon. You have at least one friend who totally gets it.