The reason I often dread hanging out with other moms is a selfish one. Even though I'm almost positive they don't mean to, most fellow moms just make me feel badly about myself.
It's nothing against you, but I don't really want to hear about how your baby is two months ahead on all of his milestones and is already sleeping through the night. And I definitely don't want to hear about how your child can nap anywhere and absolutely loves the car. In fact, I stopped listening to you ten minutes ago when I started mentally berating myself.
What am I doing wrong?
I knew I wasn't doing enough to stimulate Rory's development. I mean, do I really need to eat lunch everyday?
Maybe I should add this to the list of questions to ask the doctor next month.
Why isn't Rory solving word problems yet?
The worst are those parents who half-heartedly attempt to mask their bragging with psuedo-complaining.
He sleeps so long that sometimes I wonder if I should wake him up.
Liar. You do not wonder this. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that this thought does not even cross your mind as you flip through your US Weekly and watch Ellen while your baby naps for hours and hours.
Or my personal favorite:
She's such a good baby. I worry that I should be doing more, but she seems so content just playing on her own while I do laundry, learn French, and make gourmet dinners from scratch. (Okay, so I may have embellished this one a bit.)
I don't think there is ever a good reason to ask another mom if her baby is sleeping through the night yet. This question should be considered as socially-inappropriate as "Did you have sex last night?" It should be reserved for best friends and sisters only. Of course there are times when you need to ask other moms for advice, and questions like these are necessary. I love when people ask me for advice because almost nothing with Rory has been easy, so most likely they end the conversation feeling as though their situation isn't as bad as they had initially thought. You're welcome.
Moms, if someone does happen to ask you if your baby is sleeping through the night, and you happen to be blessed with one of those babies that sleep for 12 hour stretches every night, LIE. Lie right to this tired, hormonal mom's face. An example of an acceptable lie would be: "Ugh, I'm still waking up twice a night. We've tried everything and Johnny still won't sleep longer than 5 hours at a time. I'm so tired."
The look of relief that you see on this mom's face will be totally worth it, trust me.
My point is that not everyone has it easy. Not everyone has a baby that sleeps through the night or takes long naps, or eats well. So, if you were blessed by the easy baby fairies, that's great, but please keep it to yourself and save other moms from the agony of comparing theirdifficult beautifully challenging babies to your easy ones.
Let's be honest, Rory cannot "play" with other children yet. Sharing drool-covered toys is the extent of her social interaction at this point. The purpose of play groups is to provide mom's with a reason to leave the house and put on something other than pajama pants. So yes, let's meet at Starbucks on a random Thursday morning. But I want to drink my iced coffee (with one pump mocha and 2% milk) in peace, without worrying if I'm doing things right for once. Talk to me about how your husband is driving you crazy or your sister still hasn't come to see the baby. Talk to me about the latest episode of the Bachelorette or how skinny Jessica Simpson is. These are topics that will make me feel human again. But, please, for one hour, let's not talk about our babies.
Unless of course you have a story about how awful your night was. I would love to hear about how you were up from 3-4 am trying to get your baby to sleep or how your baby cried the whole way to the grocery store for no apparent reason. I would love to hear stories like these because chances are, I have a few of my own to share.
She's such a good baby. I worry that I should be doing more, but she seems so content just playing on her own while I do laundry, learn French, and make gourmet dinners from scratch. (Okay, so I may have embellished this one a bit.)
I don't think there is ever a good reason to ask another mom if her baby is sleeping through the night yet. This question should be considered as socially-inappropriate as "Did you have sex last night?" It should be reserved for best friends and sisters only. Of course there are times when you need to ask other moms for advice, and questions like these are necessary. I love when people ask me for advice because almost nothing with Rory has been easy, so most likely they end the conversation feeling as though their situation isn't as bad as they had initially thought. You're welcome.
Moms, if someone does happen to ask you if your baby is sleeping through the night, and you happen to be blessed with one of those babies that sleep for 12 hour stretches every night, LIE. Lie right to this tired, hormonal mom's face. An example of an acceptable lie would be: "Ugh, I'm still waking up twice a night. We've tried everything and Johnny still won't sleep longer than 5 hours at a time. I'm so tired."
The look of relief that you see on this mom's face will be totally worth it, trust me.
My point is that not everyone has it easy. Not everyone has a baby that sleeps through the night or takes long naps, or eats well. So, if you were blessed by the easy baby fairies, that's great, but please keep it to yourself and save other moms from the agony of comparing their
Let's be honest, Rory cannot "play" with other children yet. Sharing drool-covered toys is the extent of her social interaction at this point. The purpose of play groups is to provide mom's with a reason to leave the house and put on something other than pajama pants. So yes, let's meet at Starbucks on a random Thursday morning. But I want to drink my iced coffee (with one pump mocha and 2% milk) in peace, without worrying if I'm doing things right for once. Talk to me about how your husband is driving you crazy or your sister still hasn't come to see the baby. Talk to me about the latest episode of the Bachelorette or how skinny Jessica Simpson is. These are topics that will make me feel human again. But, please, for one hour, let's not talk about our babies.
Unless of course you have a story about how awful your night was. I would love to hear about how you were up from 3-4 am trying to get your baby to sleep or how your baby cried the whole way to the grocery store for no apparent reason. I would love to hear stories like these because chances are, I have a few of my own to share.
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