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| I'm sleeping like a baby, but my mom and dad are constantly checking the monitor to make sure I'm still breathing. |
Friday, May 30, 2014
So, This is How I Like to Sleep Now
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Mom Friends: Please Don't Talk to Me About Your Children
When I became a mom 6 short months ago, I couldn't wait to connect with other moms. I knew the joys and challenges that accompany motherhood are things that only other moms can understand. So within a month of Rory's birth, I joined my local MOPS group, signed up for several Meetup groups, and kept in touch with a few of the moms from my Bradley Method Class. Now, only a few months later, I've stopped attending MOPS meetings, I have yet to find a Meetup group I like, and I am very particular about which moms I will hang out with. In fact, I find myself preferring the company of my single, child-less friends.
The reason I often dread hanging out with other moms is a selfish one. Even though I'm almost positive they don't mean to, most fellow moms just make me feel badly about myself.
The reason I often dread hanging out with other moms is a selfish one. Even though I'm almost positive they don't mean to, most fellow moms just make me feel badly about myself.
It's nothing against you, but I don't really want to hear about how your baby is two months ahead on all of his milestones and is already sleeping through the night. And I definitely don't want to hear about how your child can nap anywhere and absolutely loves the car. In fact, I stopped listening to you ten minutes ago when I started mentally berating myself.
What am I doing wrong?
I knew I wasn't doing enough to stimulate Rory's development. I mean, do I really need to eat lunch everyday?
Maybe I should add this to the list of questions to ask the doctor next month.
Why isn't Rory solving word problems yet?
The worst are those parents who half-heartedly attempt to mask their bragging with psuedo-complaining.
He sleeps so long that sometimes I wonder if I should wake him up.
Liar. You do not wonder this. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that this thought does not even cross your mind as you flip through your US Weekly and watch Ellen while your baby naps for hours and hours.
Or my personal favorite:
She's such a good baby. I worry that I should be doing more, but she seems so content just playing on her own while I do laundry, learn French, and make gourmet dinners from scratch. (Okay, so I may have embellished this one a bit.)
I don't think there is ever a good reason to ask another mom if her baby is sleeping through the night yet. This question should be considered as socially-inappropriate as "Did you have sex last night?" It should be reserved for best friends and sisters only. Of course there are times when you need to ask other moms for advice, and questions like these are necessary. I love when people ask me for advice because almost nothing with Rory has been easy, so most likely they end the conversation feeling as though their situation isn't as bad as they had initially thought. You're welcome.
Moms, if someone does happen to ask you if your baby is sleeping through the night, and you happen to be blessed with one of those babies that sleep for 12 hour stretches every night, LIE. Lie right to this tired, hormonal mom's face. An example of an acceptable lie would be: "Ugh, I'm still waking up twice a night. We've tried everything and Johnny still won't sleep longer than 5 hours at a time. I'm so tired."
The look of relief that you see on this mom's face will be totally worth it, trust me.
My point is that not everyone has it easy. Not everyone has a baby that sleeps through the night or takes long naps, or eats well. So, if you were blessed by the easy baby fairies, that's great, but please keep it to yourself and save other moms from the agony of comparing theirdifficult beautifully challenging babies to your easy ones.
Let's be honest, Rory cannot "play" with other children yet. Sharing drool-covered toys is the extent of her social interaction at this point. The purpose of play groups is to provide mom's with a reason to leave the house and put on something other than pajama pants. So yes, let's meet at Starbucks on a random Thursday morning. But I want to drink my iced coffee (with one pump mocha and 2% milk) in peace, without worrying if I'm doing things right for once. Talk to me about how your husband is driving you crazy or your sister still hasn't come to see the baby. Talk to me about the latest episode of the Bachelorette or how skinny Jessica Simpson is. These are topics that will make me feel human again. But, please, for one hour, let's not talk about our babies.
Unless of course you have a story about how awful your night was. I would love to hear about how you were up from 3-4 am trying to get your baby to sleep or how your baby cried the whole way to the grocery store for no apparent reason. I would love to hear stories like these because chances are, I have a few of my own to share.
She's such a good baby. I worry that I should be doing more, but she seems so content just playing on her own while I do laundry, learn French, and make gourmet dinners from scratch. (Okay, so I may have embellished this one a bit.)
I don't think there is ever a good reason to ask another mom if her baby is sleeping through the night yet. This question should be considered as socially-inappropriate as "Did you have sex last night?" It should be reserved for best friends and sisters only. Of course there are times when you need to ask other moms for advice, and questions like these are necessary. I love when people ask me for advice because almost nothing with Rory has been easy, so most likely they end the conversation feeling as though their situation isn't as bad as they had initially thought. You're welcome.
Moms, if someone does happen to ask you if your baby is sleeping through the night, and you happen to be blessed with one of those babies that sleep for 12 hour stretches every night, LIE. Lie right to this tired, hormonal mom's face. An example of an acceptable lie would be: "Ugh, I'm still waking up twice a night. We've tried everything and Johnny still won't sleep longer than 5 hours at a time. I'm so tired."
The look of relief that you see on this mom's face will be totally worth it, trust me.
My point is that not everyone has it easy. Not everyone has a baby that sleeps through the night or takes long naps, or eats well. So, if you were blessed by the easy baby fairies, that's great, but please keep it to yourself and save other moms from the agony of comparing their
Let's be honest, Rory cannot "play" with other children yet. Sharing drool-covered toys is the extent of her social interaction at this point. The purpose of play groups is to provide mom's with a reason to leave the house and put on something other than pajama pants. So yes, let's meet at Starbucks on a random Thursday morning. But I want to drink my iced coffee (with one pump mocha and 2% milk) in peace, without worrying if I'm doing things right for once. Talk to me about how your husband is driving you crazy or your sister still hasn't come to see the baby. Talk to me about the latest episode of the Bachelorette or how skinny Jessica Simpson is. These are topics that will make me feel human again. But, please, for one hour, let's not talk about our babies.
Unless of course you have a story about how awful your night was. I would love to hear about how you were up from 3-4 am trying to get your baby to sleep or how your baby cried the whole way to the grocery store for no apparent reason. I would love to hear stories like these because chances are, I have a few of my own to share.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Magic Suit Weaning
A few months ago, I posted a review of the Merlin Magic Sleep Suit. It has done wonders for Rory's night sleep, but she is beginning to outgrow it, and rather than order the next size, Marcos and I decided to wean her from the suit. (The fact that it's been about 1,000 degrees here the past few days only validated our decision, as the Merlin Magic Sleep Suit is basically a super padded snow suit.) I was convinced that she would resist the sleepsac and have difficulty falling asleep, but she's adapted quite well. Or so I thought.
I was so tired last night that I apparently slept through Rory and Marcos' play date. But, don't worry, I got the play-by-play this morning. According to Marcos, it went something like this:
Around 10 pm, Rory rolled over onto her belly and proceeded to make cute cooing noises.
Five minutes later her cooing noises turned to cries because Rory hasn't quite figured out how to roll from her belly to her back.
So, Marcos went to her nursery and helped her get back into sleeping position.
Just as Marcos returned to bed and closed his eyes, he heard hercute cooing noises (Apparently the cooing noises became decreasingly cute as the night went on) and looked into the camera to see Rory once again on her belly.
This carried on until about 11pm when she finally fell back asleep. Luckily, Marcos took a picture so we will never forget her first night sans sleepsuit. (No matter how hard we try.)
I was so tired last night that I apparently slept through Rory and Marcos' play date. But, don't worry, I got the play-by-play this morning. According to Marcos, it went something like this:
Around 10 pm, Rory rolled over onto her belly and proceeded to make cute cooing noises.
Five minutes later her cooing noises turned to cries because Rory hasn't quite figured out how to roll from her belly to her back.
So, Marcos went to her nursery and helped her get back into sleeping position.
Just as Marcos returned to bed and closed his eyes, he heard her
This carried on until about 11pm when she finally fell back asleep. Luckily, Marcos took a picture so we will never forget her first night sans sleepsuit. (No matter how hard we try.)
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| What? You're the one who's always insisting that I do tummy time. |
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
A Rare Sighting
Said to be the offspring of an Irish mother and a Japanese father, this human baby has what many scientists refer to as pale skin. A native of sunny Colorado, she rarely ventures outside because her mother is terrified that the sun will damage her fragile skin. On the rare occasion that she is permitted to leave the house, she is never without her pink sunhat and at least two unnecessary extra layers of protective clothing. Once this species reaches 6 months of age, it is considered safe to use sunscreen. This means that her paranoid protective mother will now slather her with zinc oxide before putting on her pink sunhat and 2 extra layers of protective clothing.
Monday, May 19, 2014
A List of Things That Have Woken Rory Up
1. The washer
2. The wind
3. The garbage truck
4. The ice cream truck*
5. A sneeze
6. My text alert
7. Marli barking
8. The neighbor's lawn mower
9. The creaky top stair
10. The sound of me taking my first bite of lunch (I may have made this one up.)
*Side note: Did you know an ice cream cone costs $3.50 now?!
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Why I Broke My Number One Sleep Training Rule
Well readers, lock me up in mommy jail and throw away the key. Yesterday, I broke the number one, most important sleep training rule: I nursed Rory back to sleep during her afternoon nap. Gasp! But before you start pelting me with Legos and ban me for life from the good mom club, let me explain myself.
The past week has been crazy in the Fukumoto house, to say the least. Marcos' parents, his sister, AND his sister's fiance are visiting from Brazil, Dallas, and California, respectively. I know all you other Type A's out there feel my pain. I've had anxiety about this visit for months now. Every time I brought up one of my "concerns" to Marcos, I swear I saw his hand twitch.
Make sure they wash their hands before they hold her.
They have to be quiet when she takes a nap.
They should rent a car so they're not sitting around all day.
Tell your mom she can't pick her up if she cries in the middle of the night.
You're going to make sure you're home to help me with bedtime, right?
Make sure they know that they can't all take a shower at the same time, or we'll run out of hot water.
Needless to say, it's been a long 5 days...and I still have 5 more to go. Every where I turn there are people! People asking me where something is or how something works. I've grown accustomed to spending my whole day alone with Rory and Marli, so it's been quite an adjustment for sure.
Rory, on the other hand, is in heaven. She has not one, but five playmates at her beck and call all day long. Every morning I sneak out of the house to get coffee and leave her with her aunt and grandparents. When I return half an hour later, she looks at me with a puzzled expression as if to say, "Oh you. I didn't realize you had left."
Unfortunately, all of this excitement has wrecked havoc on her nap schedule. She's not used to all the extra noise in the house, and she's such a light sleeper that a loud sneeze woke her up from her morning nap yesterday. I kid you not. A sneeze. So, I was relieved when everyone left to go shopping during her afternoon nap. I figured she was so tired that she would sleep for at least 2 hours. So, when she began stirring an hour into her nap, I was determined to let her put herself back to sleep without any interference from me. I anxiously watched on the video monitor as she tried again and again to transition into the next sleep cycle. Eventually, her whines turned into a full blown cry, and I knew that I had two choices:
1. Allow her to keep crying until she reached our time limit, or
2. Sneak into her room and "help" her go back to sleep.
To be honest, my decision was a selfish one. I hate hearing her cry and I knew that if we were all going to survive the sushi dinner we had planned, she needed a good nap. So, I sneaked into her room, quietly lifted her out of her crib and proceeded to nurse her. She fell asleep within minutes, but rather than put her back in her crib, I decided to just watch her sleep...something I haven't done in months.
After spending less time with her these past few days, I felt disconnected. So, I decided to take the opportunity to enjoy my baby and appreciate all of the little things that I've been too busy to notice lately. I noticed that her feet were hanging off of her nursing pillow. Wasn't it just yesterday that the same pillow seemed to swallow her up? I noticed that her hair was getting lighter and starting to wave slightly. (Finally some proof that she shares my DNA.) I noticed that her eyelashes cast long shadows on her cheeks while she was sleeping. I noticed that she still has a small dimple in her right cheek. I noticed that her hand was wrapped tightly around my finger while she slept. I noticed that tears were running down my cheeks as I sat there and listened to the melting snow outside the window and watched my baby sleep.
I'll be the first one to tell you that nursing your baby to sleep will surely backfire on you when it's time to wean or you are trying to get your baby to sleep through the night. But, I have no regrets about breaking this rule yesterday. Sometimes you just have to rock your baby to sleep. And not because they need it, but because you do.
The past week has been crazy in the Fukumoto house, to say the least. Marcos' parents, his sister, AND his sister's fiance are visiting from Brazil, Dallas, and California, respectively. I know all you other Type A's out there feel my pain. I've had anxiety about this visit for months now. Every time I brought up one of my "concerns" to Marcos, I swear I saw his hand twitch.
Make sure they wash their hands before they hold her.
They have to be quiet when she takes a nap.
They should rent a car so they're not sitting around all day.
Tell your mom she can't pick her up if she cries in the middle of the night.
You're going to make sure you're home to help me with bedtime, right?
Make sure they know that they can't all take a shower at the same time, or we'll run out of hot water.
Needless to say, it's been a long 5 days...and I still have 5 more to go. Every where I turn there are people! People asking me where something is or how something works. I've grown accustomed to spending my whole day alone with Rory and Marli, so it's been quite an adjustment for sure.
Rory, on the other hand, is in heaven. She has not one, but five playmates at her beck and call all day long. Every morning I sneak out of the house to get coffee and leave her with her aunt and grandparents. When I return half an hour later, she looks at me with a puzzled expression as if to say, "Oh you. I didn't realize you had left."
Unfortunately, all of this excitement has wrecked havoc on her nap schedule. She's not used to all the extra noise in the house, and she's such a light sleeper that a loud sneeze woke her up from her morning nap yesterday. I kid you not. A sneeze. So, I was relieved when everyone left to go shopping during her afternoon nap. I figured she was so tired that she would sleep for at least 2 hours. So, when she began stirring an hour into her nap, I was determined to let her put herself back to sleep without any interference from me. I anxiously watched on the video monitor as she tried again and again to transition into the next sleep cycle. Eventually, her whines turned into a full blown cry, and I knew that I had two choices:
1. Allow her to keep crying until she reached our time limit, or
2. Sneak into her room and "help" her go back to sleep.
To be honest, my decision was a selfish one. I hate hearing her cry and I knew that if we were all going to survive the sushi dinner we had planned, she needed a good nap. So, I sneaked into her room, quietly lifted her out of her crib and proceeded to nurse her. She fell asleep within minutes, but rather than put her back in her crib, I decided to just watch her sleep...something I haven't done in months.
After spending less time with her these past few days, I felt disconnected. So, I decided to take the opportunity to enjoy my baby and appreciate all of the little things that I've been too busy to notice lately. I noticed that her feet were hanging off of her nursing pillow. Wasn't it just yesterday that the same pillow seemed to swallow her up? I noticed that her hair was getting lighter and starting to wave slightly. (Finally some proof that she shares my DNA.) I noticed that her eyelashes cast long shadows on her cheeks while she was sleeping. I noticed that she still has a small dimple in her right cheek. I noticed that her hand was wrapped tightly around my finger while she slept. I noticed that tears were running down my cheeks as I sat there and listened to the melting snow outside the window and watched my baby sleep.
I'll be the first one to tell you that nursing your baby to sleep will surely backfire on you when it's time to wean or you are trying to get your baby to sleep through the night. But, I have no regrets about breaking this rule yesterday. Sometimes you just have to rock your baby to sleep. And not because they need it, but because you do.
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| Pardon the drool...we're teething. |
Friday, May 9, 2014
Rory Keiko Six Month Update
IHappy half birthday, Rory!
I know that I'm constantly complaining that time with you passes too quickly, but seriously, when did you get so big? I can't believe it's been six months since we brought you home from the hospital. Six months since I first looked into your beautiful eyes, and six months since I first fell head over heels in love with you.
A lot has happened in the past month. You are now sitting up on your own unassisted. (Auntie Shannon may or may not have helped you with this.) It's your newest trick, and you want to practice it all the time...even when you're eating and bathing. Perhaps the biggest/most exciting thing to happen this month is that you began to eat solid foods. You must be a McGeary, because it was love at first taste. You barely swallow before you're opening your mouth for more. Bananas and applesauce are your favorite so far. You're not a big fan of vegetables yet, so I have to mix them into your fruit. Watching you try new foods is so fun! Daddy can't wait to give you sashimi, but that will have to wait.
You are able to stay awake longer, which means your naps are improving. (Yay!) You're not consistent yet, but you are beginning to consolidate your day sleep, and this makes for a much happier/refreshed mama! You are interested in everything and you love reaching for things. I'm not used to having to guard my drinks/pens/phone, but I'm quickly learning that nothing within arm's reach is safe. One of your favorite things to do is feel our Sonicare toothbrushes vibrate when we brush our teeth in the morning. You also enjoy being lifted high into the air and having "dance parties" with mommy in the afternoon.
I may be bias, but I don't think there's a more beautiful sound on this Earth than the sound of your laughter. Fortunately, I get to hear it often. You recently became ticklish, and we have so much fun playing "tickle monster". You also love visiting the boys next door. You and Sam press the buttons on their LeapPad table until Miss Amanda and I can't take it anymore and we turn the sound off. I'm proud to say that books are still your favorite toy. You've added "Where is the Green Sheep" to your list of favorites, as well as "Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear?" Daddy and I are grateful for the variation. Now that the weather is nice, we go outside a few times a day. Daddy took you to the park and pushed you in the baby swing for the first time. You loved it.
Auntie Audrey from Dallas came to see you this month. She is one of mommy's oldest and closest friends. She and Auntie Shannon stayed over one night and they both loved holding you and listening to you "talk".
We went to the Doctor yesterday and found out that you are in the 50th percentile for both weight and head circumference and in the 40th percentile for height. (It's okay, you're Asian.) You also received two vaccines, which mommy hates. But you did so well. You only cried for a few seconds before you were back to smiling and examining Dr. Hall's interesting tools. (Otherwise known as a tape measure and tongue depressor)
I can't believe I have a six month old. Your daddy and I feel so lucky to have you in our lives. You make every day a good day.
I know that I'm constantly complaining that time with you passes too quickly, but seriously, when did you get so big? I can't believe it's been six months since we brought you home from the hospital. Six months since I first looked into your beautiful eyes, and six months since I first fell head over heels in love with you.
A lot has happened in the past month. You are now sitting up on your own unassisted. (Auntie Shannon may or may not have helped you with this.) It's your newest trick, and you want to practice it all the time...even when you're eating and bathing. Perhaps the biggest/most exciting thing to happen this month is that you began to eat solid foods. You must be a McGeary, because it was love at first taste. You barely swallow before you're opening your mouth for more. Bananas and applesauce are your favorite so far. You're not a big fan of vegetables yet, so I have to mix them into your fruit. Watching you try new foods is so fun! Daddy can't wait to give you sashimi, but that will have to wait.
You are able to stay awake longer, which means your naps are improving. (Yay!) You're not consistent yet, but you are beginning to consolidate your day sleep, and this makes for a much happier/refreshed mama! You are interested in everything and you love reaching for things. I'm not used to having to guard my drinks/pens/phone, but I'm quickly learning that nothing within arm's reach is safe. One of your favorite things to do is feel our Sonicare toothbrushes vibrate when we brush our teeth in the morning. You also enjoy being lifted high into the air and having "dance parties" with mommy in the afternoon.
I may be bias, but I don't think there's a more beautiful sound on this Earth than the sound of your laughter. Fortunately, I get to hear it often. You recently became ticklish, and we have so much fun playing "tickle monster". You also love visiting the boys next door. You and Sam press the buttons on their LeapPad table until Miss Amanda and I can't take it anymore and we turn the sound off. I'm proud to say that books are still your favorite toy. You've added "Where is the Green Sheep" to your list of favorites, as well as "Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear?" Daddy and I are grateful for the variation. Now that the weather is nice, we go outside a few times a day. Daddy took you to the park and pushed you in the baby swing for the first time. You loved it.
Auntie Audrey from Dallas came to see you this month. She is one of mommy's oldest and closest friends. She and Auntie Shannon stayed over one night and they both loved holding you and listening to you "talk".
We went to the Doctor yesterday and found out that you are in the 50th percentile for both weight and head circumference and in the 40th percentile for height. (It's okay, you're Asian.) You also received two vaccines, which mommy hates. But you did so well. You only cried for a few seconds before you were back to smiling and examining Dr. Hall's interesting tools. (Otherwise known as a tape measure and tongue depressor)
I can't believe I have a six month old. Your daddy and I feel so lucky to have you in our lives. You make every day a good day.
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| Check out that smile! |
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| Sophie + Rory = BFF |
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| Yoga? |
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| So you haven't exactly mastered the art of drinking from a sippy cup, but you love drinking water from a straw. |
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| Sitting up! |
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| Chubby baby! |
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| Reading "Where is the Green Sheep?" |
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| Touching Daddy's toothbrush. |
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Things I Would Never Know If I Didn't Have a Baby
1. It takes exactly one memorized read aloud of "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" to get from our house to the grocery store.
2. Batteries take a long time to die.
3. Cutting baby fingernails should be an Olympic sport.
4. Pretty much anything can be done one-handed.
5. Yoga pants work for any occasion.
6. I canfunction survive on very little sleep.
7. No one can resist a smiling baby.
8. It is possible to eat food without really tasting it.
9. The dryer loves to eat baby socks.
10. Goodnight Moon is a horribly boring book.
11. The difference between a "Boppy" and a "Bumbo".
12. Time passes too quickly.
13. My iphone doesn't hold nearly enough photos.
14. "The Wiggles" and I have a love/hate relationship.
15. I believe in love at first sight.
2. Batteries take a long time to die.
3. Cutting baby fingernails should be an Olympic sport.
4. Pretty much anything can be done one-handed.
5. Yoga pants work for any occasion.
6. I can
7. No one can resist a smiling baby.
8. It is possible to eat food without really tasting it.
9. The dryer loves to eat baby socks.
10. Goodnight Moon is a horribly boring book.
11. The difference between a "Boppy" and a "Bumbo".
12. Time passes too quickly.
13. My iphone doesn't hold nearly enough photos.
14. "The Wiggles" and I have a love/hate relationship.
15. I believe in love at first sight.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
30 Things Rory Should Know About Me: Part 2
Describe 3 Legitimate Fears You Have
Rory,
I've always been a worrier. When I was in elementary school, I worried so much that I would get stomach aches almost every night. I really hope you don't inherit this from me, especially because worrying about something never changes the outcome. Even though I know that worrying is a waste of mental energy, I can't seem to stop. Unfortunately, if left to their own devices, these worries often turn into fears. And just when I thought I couldn't possibly worry about one more thing, you were born, and my worries seemed to multiply. Sadly, the most difficult part of writing this post was choosing only three fears. But, eventually I narrowed them down, and here they are:
1. Fear Of Flying
I haven't always been afraid to fly. I've been flying on a regular basis pretty much since I was born. Your gammy and poppi got divorced when I was only a little older than you are right now, so I would fly with your auntie Whitney and auntie Courtney to go visit poppi in Connecticut about three times a year. I used to love flying. I even remember feeling slightly disappointed each time the place landed, signaling the end of the flight. I'm not sure when my fear of flying developed. Perhaps it started on our way to get married in Mexico when we experienced sudden, severe turbulence. Perhaps it's because in the past few years there have been several flights that seem to have just stopped flying. All I know is that now when I get on a flight, my palms get super sweaty and I panic whenever I feel even the slightest bit of turbulence. I realize statistics are in my favor...I have a much greater chance of dying in a car accident; but that doesn't change the fact that I am trusting a pilot I don't know to fly me 35, 000 feet into the air in what looks like a giant metal can.
2. Fear of Losing You
From the day I found out you were in my stomach, I was terrified that I would lose you. So many things can go wrong in a pregnancy, and I was convinced that every pain or strange feeling meant that I had miscarried. Needless to say, it was a long nine months and I couldn't wait until you were safe in my arms. Little did I know that my fear of losing you would only get worse once you were out of my womb and in the real world where you seemed so helpless and vulnerable. Even when you were asleep right next to me in your bassinet, I was convinced that you were going to stop breathing. I still check the video monitor several times a night, and I have finally accepted the fact that I will not get a good night's sleep for at least 18 years. Every day I fall more in love with you, and every day the fear of losing you grips me just a little tighter. Every time I hear about a child's death on the news or read about an accident in the paper, that fear resurfaces and I am forced to imagine what life would be like without you, but I can't. I barely remember life before you, and I pray to God each night that I will never have to live my life after you.
3. Fear of You Hating Me
Becoming a parent is both the best and the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. (Besides flying. See above.) All of a sudden I was in charge of another human life. I remember coming home from the hospital and thinking, "What the hell do I do now?" But even though your survival depends on me until you can feed, clothe, and bathe yourself, I realize that these are the easy years. Soon you will be looking to me for guidance for things like friendships and boys and peer pressure. I know I won't always get it right. I know there will come a day when you hate me and you feel as though I don't understand you and you will wish that you had been born to a different family. I know this because I went through those years with my own mom. But the older I got, the more I understood why my mom said what she said and did what she did. She was just being a good mom. And now that I'm a mom, I am terrified of what's to come. What if I don't say the right thing? What if I pass up opportunities to tell you how beautiful and smart I think you are? What if I don't have the sex talk soon enough? What if you end up hating me? Fortunately, I have a few years to think about these things, and hopefully when these situations arise, I will be ready. Hopefully I will say the right thing and you will understand the reasons behind my actions. But, if I screw up every once in a while, please know that I always have your best interest in mind...and please, please don't hate me.
Rory,
I've always been a worrier. When I was in elementary school, I worried so much that I would get stomach aches almost every night. I really hope you don't inherit this from me, especially because worrying about something never changes the outcome. Even though I know that worrying is a waste of mental energy, I can't seem to stop. Unfortunately, if left to their own devices, these worries often turn into fears. And just when I thought I couldn't possibly worry about one more thing, you were born, and my worries seemed to multiply. Sadly, the most difficult part of writing this post was choosing only three fears. But, eventually I narrowed them down, and here they are:
1. Fear Of Flying
I haven't always been afraid to fly. I've been flying on a regular basis pretty much since I was born. Your gammy and poppi got divorced when I was only a little older than you are right now, so I would fly with your auntie Whitney and auntie Courtney to go visit poppi in Connecticut about three times a year. I used to love flying. I even remember feeling slightly disappointed each time the place landed, signaling the end of the flight. I'm not sure when my fear of flying developed. Perhaps it started on our way to get married in Mexico when we experienced sudden, severe turbulence. Perhaps it's because in the past few years there have been several flights that seem to have just stopped flying. All I know is that now when I get on a flight, my palms get super sweaty and I panic whenever I feel even the slightest bit of turbulence. I realize statistics are in my favor...I have a much greater chance of dying in a car accident; but that doesn't change the fact that I am trusting a pilot I don't know to fly me 35, 000 feet into the air in what looks like a giant metal can.
2. Fear of Losing You
From the day I found out you were in my stomach, I was terrified that I would lose you. So many things can go wrong in a pregnancy, and I was convinced that every pain or strange feeling meant that I had miscarried. Needless to say, it was a long nine months and I couldn't wait until you were safe in my arms. Little did I know that my fear of losing you would only get worse once you were out of my womb and in the real world where you seemed so helpless and vulnerable. Even when you were asleep right next to me in your bassinet, I was convinced that you were going to stop breathing. I still check the video monitor several times a night, and I have finally accepted the fact that I will not get a good night's sleep for at least 18 years. Every day I fall more in love with you, and every day the fear of losing you grips me just a little tighter. Every time I hear about a child's death on the news or read about an accident in the paper, that fear resurfaces and I am forced to imagine what life would be like without you, but I can't. I barely remember life before you, and I pray to God each night that I will never have to live my life after you.
3. Fear of You Hating Me
Becoming a parent is both the best and the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. (Besides flying. See above.) All of a sudden I was in charge of another human life. I remember coming home from the hospital and thinking, "What the hell do I do now?" But even though your survival depends on me until you can feed, clothe, and bathe yourself, I realize that these are the easy years. Soon you will be looking to me for guidance for things like friendships and boys and peer pressure. I know I won't always get it right. I know there will come a day when you hate me and you feel as though I don't understand you and you will wish that you had been born to a different family. I know this because I went through those years with my own mom. But the older I got, the more I understood why my mom said what she said and did what she did. She was just being a good mom. And now that I'm a mom, I am terrified of what's to come. What if I don't say the right thing? What if I pass up opportunities to tell you how beautiful and smart I think you are? What if I don't have the sex talk soon enough? What if you end up hating me? Fortunately, I have a few years to think about these things, and hopefully when these situations arise, I will be ready. Hopefully I will say the right thing and you will understand the reasons behind my actions. But, if I screw up every once in a while, please know that I always have your best interest in mind...and please, please don't hate me.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Baby Eating Must Haves
Rory is two weeks away from turning six months (seriously, when did this happen?!), and I know all the books say to wait until six months to start babies on solids, but she is already sitting up unassisted and just this past week she began reaching for our food, so I took this as a sign. We haven't gone all out. She's not eating pureed of anything yet (and probably never will), but we're testing the waters with some pretty simple foods, including banana, avocado, and applesauce. Even though we've just started this journey towards "real food", I've already discovered what I can't live without. Here are a few of the basics that have recently become invaluable to us:
1. Baby-led Weaning
A friend lent me this book when I was still pregnant and until a few weeks ago I had completely forgotten about it. When I realized we were getting close to introducing solids, I dug it out of my box of pregnancy books, brushed off the dust, and proceeded to read the entire book in one sitting. It's not a particularly riveting book, it's just an easy read that makes sense. I had been dreading the process of making my own baby food and spooning unidentifiable mush into Rory's mouth three times a day. So, when I read that the baby-led weaning philosophy is based on the concept of "baby eats what we eat", I knew it was for me. Rather than feeding Rory mashed food, I offer her real food in manageable/safe pieces. This book is based on several basic beliefs:
-Baby eats independently when possible
-Baby eats foods as close to their natural form as possible
-Baby eats what parents eat when possible
Supposedly, when children grow up eating whole foods alongside their parents, they are less likely to be picky eaters and more likely to be willing to try new foods. If all we offer babies are bland, unseasoned, and mushy versions of the foods we eat, how can we expect them to be eager to try new foods with stronger flavors? I also like the idea of allowing Rory to feed herself whenever possible. Yes, it will get messy and she probably won't get much food in her mouth in the beginning, but what a great way to teach independence, coordination, and self-autonomy. Obviously, Rory's safety is most important, which means I will take special precautions to make sure the foods we offer are soft enough and small enough to avoid choking, and I will probably end up making a few vegetable/fruit purees in the beginning, but so far I'm totally on board with the ideas presented in this book.
2. Munchkin Mesh Feeders
These things are amazing! I picked ours up at a consignment sale for a few bucks. They are a great way to introduce whole foods without worrying about choking/overeating. In the mornings, while I'm making my own breakfast, I usually stick a small piece of fruit in one and Rory goes to town on it. The mesh holes are super small, so no big pieces can get through, but she still gets plenty of the juices.
3. Boon Bendable Spoon and Fork
I plan on allowing Rory to "feed herself" as soon as possible, and these bendable utensils make it easier for her to find her mouth because let's face it, babies don't have the best hand-eye coordination. I also like that they bend both ways so babies don't have to be limited to using only one hand.
4. Boon Double-Ended Spoons
We've already used these spoons to feed Rory applesauce and mashed banana. I love that they are double ended and angled. The rubber side is perfect for wiping Rory's face when she inevitably spits out half of whatever makes it in her mouth.
5. Baby Bowls
Again, we plan to use these in a few months when Rory is able to take more control of the feeding process. I have three different sizes, but they all have suctioned bottoms that attach to her high chair tray and prevent her from picking them up and throwing them across the room. (Sorry, Marli.)
6. Skip Hop Tuck Away Bib
My friend gave me one of these before Rory was born, and I was excited to finally get to use it. (It's the little things.) The material is super easy to wipe down and it's great for traveling because you can simply tuck it back into a little pouch and throw it in your diaper bag. the front pocket also catches random pieces of food that may otherwise fall on the floor. (Again, sorry Marli.)
7. High Chair(s)
I know this is kind of an obvious one, but I really just wanted to brag about the deals I got on our two high chairs. The larger high chair is the one that we use on a daily basis. I scored it on Craigslist for $40! After a thorough wipe down, it looks brand new. We haven't used our travel chair yet, but I bought it at a local consignment sale for $19. I found out later that it retails for $70. I plan on using the travel chair when we go to friends' houses for dinner or out to eat, but I know a lot of people that skip the traditional chair altogether and use the travel chair at home to save space.
8. Happy Baby Organic Food Pouches
So, I know I just sung the praises of Baby Led Weaning, but we have bought a few of these organic food pouches for Rory. I agree that whole foods are best whenever possible, but I'm also a realist. I understand there will be times when we will need to feed Rory on the go, and these are the perfect solution. They have a ton of different flavors (many with fruits AND vegetables) and they're all organic with no preservatives. These pouches are also a great way for babies to try new foods without you having to buy a bunch of expensive fruit and vegetables that may end up just going to waste if your baby isn't a fan. Plus, Rory is still in the beginning stages of eating, so I don't feel comfortable giving her pieces of anything yet. I usually mix a few teaspoons of these purees with mashed banana or avocado.
1. Baby-led Weaning
A friend lent me this book when I was still pregnant and until a few weeks ago I had completely forgotten about it. When I realized we were getting close to introducing solids, I dug it out of my box of pregnancy books, brushed off the dust, and proceeded to read the entire book in one sitting. It's not a particularly riveting book, it's just an easy read that makes sense. I had been dreading the process of making my own baby food and spooning unidentifiable mush into Rory's mouth three times a day. So, when I read that the baby-led weaning philosophy is based on the concept of "baby eats what we eat", I knew it was for me. Rather than feeding Rory mashed food, I offer her real food in manageable/safe pieces. This book is based on several basic beliefs:
-Baby eats independently when possible
-Baby eats foods as close to their natural form as possible
-Baby eats what parents eat when possible
Supposedly, when children grow up eating whole foods alongside their parents, they are less likely to be picky eaters and more likely to be willing to try new foods. If all we offer babies are bland, unseasoned, and mushy versions of the foods we eat, how can we expect them to be eager to try new foods with stronger flavors? I also like the idea of allowing Rory to feed herself whenever possible. Yes, it will get messy and she probably won't get much food in her mouth in the beginning, but what a great way to teach independence, coordination, and self-autonomy. Obviously, Rory's safety is most important, which means I will take special precautions to make sure the foods we offer are soft enough and small enough to avoid choking, and I will probably end up making a few vegetable/fruit purees in the beginning, but so far I'm totally on board with the ideas presented in this book.
2. Munchkin Mesh Feeders
These things are amazing! I picked ours up at a consignment sale for a few bucks. They are a great way to introduce whole foods without worrying about choking/overeating. In the mornings, while I'm making my own breakfast, I usually stick a small piece of fruit in one and Rory goes to town on it. The mesh holes are super small, so no big pieces can get through, but she still gets plenty of the juices.
3. Boon Bendable Spoon and Fork
I plan on allowing Rory to "feed herself" as soon as possible, and these bendable utensils make it easier for her to find her mouth because let's face it, babies don't have the best hand-eye coordination. I also like that they bend both ways so babies don't have to be limited to using only one hand.
4. Boon Double-Ended Spoons
We've already used these spoons to feed Rory applesauce and mashed banana. I love that they are double ended and angled. The rubber side is perfect for wiping Rory's face when she inevitably spits out half of whatever makes it in her mouth.
5. Baby Bowls
Again, we plan to use these in a few months when Rory is able to take more control of the feeding process. I have three different sizes, but they all have suctioned bottoms that attach to her high chair tray and prevent her from picking them up and throwing them across the room. (Sorry, Marli.)
6. Skip Hop Tuck Away Bib
My friend gave me one of these before Rory was born, and I was excited to finally get to use it. (It's the little things.) The material is super easy to wipe down and it's great for traveling because you can simply tuck it back into a little pouch and throw it in your diaper bag. the front pocket also catches random pieces of food that may otherwise fall on the floor. (Again, sorry Marli.)
7. High Chair(s)
I know this is kind of an obvious one, but I really just wanted to brag about the deals I got on our two high chairs. The larger high chair is the one that we use on a daily basis. I scored it on Craigslist for $40! After a thorough wipe down, it looks brand new. We haven't used our travel chair yet, but I bought it at a local consignment sale for $19. I found out later that it retails for $70. I plan on using the travel chair when we go to friends' houses for dinner or out to eat, but I know a lot of people that skip the traditional chair altogether and use the travel chair at home to save space.
8. Happy Baby Organic Food Pouches
So, I know I just sung the praises of Baby Led Weaning, but we have bought a few of these organic food pouches for Rory. I agree that whole foods are best whenever possible, but I'm also a realist. I understand there will be times when we will need to feed Rory on the go, and these are the perfect solution. They have a ton of different flavors (many with fruits AND vegetables) and they're all organic with no preservatives. These pouches are also a great way for babies to try new foods without you having to buy a bunch of expensive fruit and vegetables that may end up just going to waste if your baby isn't a fan. Plus, Rory is still in the beginning stages of eating, so I don't feel comfortable giving her pieces of anything yet. I usually mix a few teaspoons of these purees with mashed banana or avocado.
 |
| Yum! |
 |
| Bananas are my favorite. |
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Somedays I Feel Like I Really Have My Shit Together... and Somedays I'm Just Full of Shit
Somedays, like last Thursday, I put my feet on the coffee table and think, "this stay-at-home-mom thing isn't so hard". Dinner is in the oven, I just put my third load of laundry in the dryer, and Rory is taking her second hour plus nap of the day. I've totally got this.
Fast forward five days.
Rory is back to taking 30 minute naps. I forgot to thaw the chicken for tonight's dinner, and because the thought of washing Rory's diapers makes me want to go to sleep and never wake up, she is in her third disposable of the day. So, I put my head on the coffee table and think, "this is the hardest job I have ever had".
My forehead touches something cold, wet and slimy. I look at my sleeve and realize it's full of spit up. How long has that been there? I don't even remember her spitting up.
I gather the strength to get up and find a burp cloth. As I stand up, I notice something on my pants. Upon closer examination, I realize that "something" is dried poop. I won't even tell you how many hours had passed since she pooped. Sigh.
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