Why I Opened a Package of Cookies in the Bathroom

Well readers, (all 2 of you), the day I've been dreading has finally arrived. The day when Rory no longer sleeps anywhere at anytime. Gone are the days when we can bring her along to watch the Broncos play at a bar and just tuck her under the table as she sleeps soundly in her carseat. Gone are the days when I can reply "yes" to any social engagement without having to think about Rory's feeding and napping schedule. Coffee date at 2 in the afternoon? Sure! As long as it happens to fall in between Rory's 5 forty minute catnaps that she's so keen on taking.

Four months has not been very fun so far. It began with the 4 month sleep regression. (Again, why didn't anyone warn me about this??) Oh, you've never heard of it either? Google it and try not to cry. After months of sleeping a 6-8 hour stretch, Rory was up every few hours for almost a week. We thought maybe her bassinet was getting too small for her, so we moved her into her crib. Apparently, this was not the problem. On the bright side, she is now sleeping in her nursery, so Marcos and I are able to speak with actual words rather than hand gestures before we go to bed at night.

Days haven't been much better. I decided that Rory should no longer be sleeping on me and should instead nap in her crib. Nap training is so much harder than I thought it would be. The first day I simply placed her in her crib and closed the door. As I crept out of her room, I excitedly thought of all the things I was going to do around the house while she slept soundly for the next two hours. I barely made it down the stairs before she started screaming.

Since that day, I've been obsessively reading about infant sleep patterns and various sleep training methods. I even called Rory's pediatrician to ask her opinion. Her response? Let her cry it out. I tried that and lasted about 2 minutes. We're both just not ready for that at this point. (Although that could change in the next few months.) From all of my reading and advice seeking (I apologize to all of my friends with children who I harassed for sleep tips), I've discovered a few important points regarding baby sleep:

• The most helpful thing you can do is get your baby on a routine. I say routine instead of schedule because to me, a schedule implies specific times, and each day may not match up exactly with the previous one, but your routine/order of events should stay the same.
• If you put your baby to bed at the same time each night, he or she should wake up at the same time each morning (give or take), making it easier for you to plan feedings and naps. 
• A baby shouldn't be awake for more than 2 hours. This makes it very hard to leave the house. 
• Try to put your baby down awake but drowsy. This will help her learn to put herself to sleep. Also, if you put them in their crib when they're asleep, it's like going to sleep in your bed and waking up on the kitchen floor. A bit confusing. 
• Learning to self-soothe is a skill, much like crawling and walking. If you are always carrying your baby, she will never learn how to crawl. Similarly, if you always rock your baby to sleep, she will never learn how to put herself to sleep.
• Some babies are just short nappers. At 4 months, several short naps is pretty normal, and hopefully they will learn to consolidate their sleep in the upcoming weeks. 
• It's okay to let your baby cry a little. If you're constantly rushing into her room as soon as you hear her wake, she will miss out on valuable opportunities to learn to self-soothe. 
• No single method of sleep training works for all babies, or parents for that matter. Read up on various methods and pick and choose what works for you. 
• Keep a sleeping log. This will help you discover when your baby becomes tired, how often he or she is eating, and how long they are napping. It will also help you see progress and serve as a form of encouragement. 
• You must become aware of your baby's tired signals. These include eye rubbing, ear/hair pulling, decreased interaction and increased fussiness. 
• Make sure you're establishing sustainable sleep associations for you baby. If you constantly rock and sing your child to sleep, she will expect that every time she wakes up. This is why it's important to forego the feed-sleep association if possible, or your baby will have a difficult time falling asleep without eating, making for long nights and a difficult weaning process. 
• If you currently do a lot to help your child fall asleep, gradually remove each sleep association over a period of a few weeks. 

Just because I've become aware of these points, doesn't mean I always put them into practice. I've started a sleeping log about ten times, and each time I forget to use it consistently. We also don't put Rory down in her crib awake every time she goes to sleep, but this is my main goal because I believe that this is the most effective way to help her learn to sleep on her own.

I have read just about every sleep book out there, and "The No-Cry Nap Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley is by far my favorite. It just makes sense. My favorite baby sleep quote comes from this book:

"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents' enjoyment of their babies, its rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep."
-James McKenna

In other words, RELAX. Obviously it's important to get your baby on a schedule and make sure they're getting enough sleep, but not to the point where it's causing you anxiety. When I become frustrated or feel as though this phase will never end, I just think about how much I will miss being able to rock Rory to sleep when she no longer fits in my arms. That usually puts things in perspective for me. 

So by now you're probably wondering why I named this post what I did. Well, when your baby only naps for half an hour and you have a craving for Trader Joe's cookies that just won't go away, you do what you have to do.