Promises I've Already Broken to My Past Self

Before I had a baby, there were lots of things I swore to myself I would never do. Here is a list of some, but not all, of the promises I've already broken since Rory was born:

I promised myself I would never breastfeed without a cover. 
When your baby's screaming to be fed and your nursing cover is at the bottom of your diaper bag, the small chance that a few strangers may catch a glimpse of your boobs just doesn't seem that pressing of an issue.

I promised myself that I would never let my child's nap times dictate my schedule.
Ha. Just ha. (I also want to take this opportunity to formally apologize to all of my friends who had babies before me and who had to deal with my ignorant responses (read eye-rolling) when they told me they couldn't attend a social event due to nap time. I get it now, I really do.)

I promised myself I would never offer my baby a pacifier. 
Offer? I begged her to take one. I stopped just short of shoving it in her mouth and manually moving her jaw in a sucking motion. On the bright side, I won't have to pry it out of her hands when she's 2 years old.

I promised myself I would never cry at my child's vaccination appointments. 

Ugh, I  dread these appointments. One minute Rory's lovingly looking into my eyes as the doctor prepares the shots and the next she's screaming so loudly only dogs can hear her. It feels like the ultimate form of betrayal. I know it's cliche, but you really would take their place if you could. I'm a coward, so I usually make Marcos hold her hand during the shots and then nurse her immediately afterwards. 

I promised myself I would never tip toe around the house while my child is sleeping. 

Um, have you read my post about opening cookies in the bathroom? Are you really surprised that I tip toe around the house and give Marcos the evil eye every time he steps on the creaky stair? Running the dryer and vacuuming are great if you're a masochist or have a heavy sleeper, but Rory wakes at the slightest noise. 

I promised myself I would never wear pajamas all day or "let myself go". 

I think we can all agree that I let myself go a long time ago. My makeup is literally covered in dust and I don't remember the last time my hair wasn't in a pony tail. I'm sorry, but I just don't see the point in dressing up* when the only time I leave my house is to run to the grocery store a mile away. Perhaps when Rory is out of the "I hate the car seat phase", we may venture other places. 

* Yes, this includes jeans. 

I promised myself I would never blame my baby for arriving late. 

Well, I'm not the one that pooped as soon as I was strapped into the car seat. 

I promised myself I would never do this: 

Take that, UPS man. 

I promised myself I would never say things like, "before I had kids..."

See above.