For Rory: I Have to Get This Off My (exceptionally large) Chest

A few weeks ago, I asked a fellow mommy-friend if she wanted to meet me for a drink (or three). Her response?
Sure, I just have to make sure my husband can babysit the boys.

Ugh! There are few things that bother me more than this statement. A babysitter is a sixteen-year-old high school student trying to earn extra money so she can buy low-rise jeans. A baby sitter is not the father of your children. When you ask your husband to "babysit", it implies that spending time with his children is a job. There's a reason why stay-at-home moms don't refer to themselves as full-time babysitters. Mothers and fathers are parents, not babysitters.

Granted, most stay-at-home parents are women (although this is changing), and traditionally the father is considered the breadwinner and the mother the caregiver, but this does not mean that males are not just as capable of caring for their children. It takes a mother and a father to conceive a child, and ideally, it takes a mother and a father to raise a child.There is nothing (aside from breastfeeding) that dads can't do just as well as moms. Dads can rock a baby to sleep. Dads can change a diaper. Dads can color with and read to their children. So why do we often say dads are "babysitting" when they spend time alone with their children?

The media does little to change society's narrow-minded view of gender roles. In fact, most TV shows and movies only seem to validate this mindset by creating male characters who act completely clueless when it comes to caring for their own children. How many times has the father on one of your favorite sitcoms done something like put a diaper on backwards, or fed his TV children candy for dinner? These "fathers" are constantly portrayed as incompetent, uninterested parental figures. They can't wait for their wives to get home so they can be relinquished of all parental duties. Is this real life? Not in my house, it isn't. Marcos can't wait to get home to spend time with Rory. He doesn't complain when I leave him alone with her to go run errands and he certainly doesn't ask to be paid for his time with her. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bragging. I don't think Marcos is an amazing dad just because he enjoys spending time with Rory. This is both his duty and his privilege as a parent.

I admit that most moms (including myself), are partly to blame for the stigma attached to male caregivers. Before I leave Marcos and Rory alone together, I can often be heard shouting out a list of instructions that I'm sure Marcos would consider common sense, and there are times when I catch myself pushing Marcos out of the way because he is taking too long to change Rory's diaper or chastise him for putting her in the "wrong" pajamas. As long as she's diapered and clothed, does it really matter? No wonder fathers are slow to offer their help and less likely to volunteer to spend time alone with their children. If we're constantly telling them that they're doing things the wrong way, it only reinforces the theory that mothers are the better caregivers and fathers should take the backseat when it comes to raising their own children. Although you will never hear me refer to Marcos' fatherly duties as "babysitting," I need to remember that Marcos is a very capable parent who doesn't need me hovering or shouting orders at him. When Marcos and Rory spend time alone together, I know she will be safe, fed, and most importantly, loved.

So the point of my rant is this:
Dads, you are not babysitters.
Moms, you don't always know best.
Sitcom writers, get some new material already.

And now, some pictures of celebrities with their children, because why not?