2. Rory's diaper
3. The bathtub
4. Marli's food bowl
5. My bra
6. The vegetable drawer in the refrigerator
Friday, December 12, 2014
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Why Marriage is Harder than Parenthood
I've noticed that having a baby before getting married is becoming more common, and not just among washed-up celebrities. (By the way, are Kourtney and Scott ever going to get married??) In the past month, I've heard several stories about friends of friends who purposefully became pregnant out of wedlock or who are actively trying to get pregnant before getting married. A friend of mine told me a few months ago that he's ready to be a father, but not sure if he's ready for marriage. And the truth is, I get it.
Although we can all argue the importance of establishing a strong and stable relationship with your partner before bringing a child into the mix, in many ways, marriage is a bigger and scarier commitment than becoming a parent. Sure, there are the seemingly endless sleepless nights and the anxiety that comes with being in charge of molding another being into a productive member of society. And let's not forget that being a parent is a 24 hour a day 7 day a week job that doesn't ever really get easier because once you finally feel like you have it figured out, everything changes. But let's face it, parenting isn't rocket science. Babies need food, clothes, a little brain stimulation, and a lot of love. Actually, husbands have similar needs. The only difference is it's easy to love a baby. They are the epitome of unconditional love. They are literally a part of you, and nothing they do could possibly make you love them any less. I am completely powerless when it comes to the love and affection I feel for Rory. I have no choice in the matter.
But every morning I wake up, I make the choice to love my husband. Of course, on most days, it's an easy choice. I vowed to spend the rest of my life with this man, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. I love almost everything about him, but loving your husband does not always come as naturally as loving your child, and often it's a conscious choice you have to make. When Rory wakes up crying in the middle of the night, it's concerning. When Marcos does it, it's just annoying. (I kid.)
As a parent, you expect to give and get nothing in return, but that mentality doesn't fly in a marriage. It's a constant give and take, and more often than not, it feels as though someone is doing more of the taking.
Your baby is forever changing-from infant to toddler to tween to teen, and with each phase comes new challenges and experiences. Parenting doesn't get old or boring. Kids tend to keep you on your toes. But it's easy to fall into the trap of a monotonous marriage. You wake up, go to work, take care of the kids, and fall into bed exhausted each night. There are some days when Marcos and I barely say two words to one another. We know each other so well at this point, that gestures suffice. Talking takes energy that we just don't have. Date nights must be scheduled weeks in advance and finding a babysitter you trust and that you can actually afford is not an easy task. Of course, you'll spend the whole night talking about your kids, which you could have done for free on your couch in the comfort of your own home.
At this point you're either shaking your head in agreement or thinking I must be headed straight for divorce. Either way, you need to know that I am not unhappy. Marcos and I have a strong, happy marriage, and I could not have chosen a better life partner.We were married five years before we decided to have a child, but we still sometimes have trouble finding the balance between being a good wife or husband and being a good parent. At times, it doesn't seem possible to be both. In many ways having a child strengthens your marriage. When I see Marcos giving Rory a bath or chasing her around in the backyard, I fall in love with him all over again. But parenthood also tests and challenges your marriage in ways you never thought possible. When you're running on very little sleep and the house is a mess and your baby won't stop crying, it can be difficult to remember your spouse's good qualities.
My point is that marriage is a lot of work, and the love you have for your child often overshadows the love you feel for your partner. Parenthood is all-consuming and it's easy to forget that you were a wife before you were a mother. I used to balk at the idea that your husband should come before your children, but now I understand the importance of a strong, healthy marriage when it comes to being a good parent. Not only must you set a positive example of marriage for your kids, but inevitably your kids will grow up and (hopefully) leave the house to start families of their own. If your entire identity is based on being a mother and you've put your marriage on the back burner, your marriage may not survive the empty nest syndrome.
I'm not saying that having a baby before getting married is a good idea. Or a bad one, for that matter. I'm simply saying that a strong relationship with your partner is by far the best gift you can give your child.
Although we can all argue the importance of establishing a strong and stable relationship with your partner before bringing a child into the mix, in many ways, marriage is a bigger and scarier commitment than becoming a parent. Sure, there are the seemingly endless sleepless nights and the anxiety that comes with being in charge of molding another being into a productive member of society. And let's not forget that being a parent is a 24 hour a day 7 day a week job that doesn't ever really get easier because once you finally feel like you have it figured out, everything changes. But let's face it, parenting isn't rocket science. Babies need food, clothes, a little brain stimulation, and a lot of love. Actually, husbands have similar needs. The only difference is it's easy to love a baby. They are the epitome of unconditional love. They are literally a part of you, and nothing they do could possibly make you love them any less. I am completely powerless when it comes to the love and affection I feel for Rory. I have no choice in the matter.
But every morning I wake up, I make the choice to love my husband. Of course, on most days, it's an easy choice. I vowed to spend the rest of my life with this man, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. I love almost everything about him, but loving your husband does not always come as naturally as loving your child, and often it's a conscious choice you have to make. When Rory wakes up crying in the middle of the night, it's concerning. When Marcos does it, it's just annoying. (I kid.)
As a parent, you expect to give and get nothing in return, but that mentality doesn't fly in a marriage. It's a constant give and take, and more often than not, it feels as though someone is doing more of the taking.
Your baby is forever changing-from infant to toddler to tween to teen, and with each phase comes new challenges and experiences. Parenting doesn't get old or boring. Kids tend to keep you on your toes. But it's easy to fall into the trap of a monotonous marriage. You wake up, go to work, take care of the kids, and fall into bed exhausted each night. There are some days when Marcos and I barely say two words to one another. We know each other so well at this point, that gestures suffice. Talking takes energy that we just don't have. Date nights must be scheduled weeks in advance and finding a babysitter you trust and that you can actually afford is not an easy task. Of course, you'll spend the whole night talking about your kids, which you could have done for free on your couch in the comfort of your own home.
At this point you're either shaking your head in agreement or thinking I must be headed straight for divorce. Either way, you need to know that I am not unhappy. Marcos and I have a strong, happy marriage, and I could not have chosen a better life partner.We were married five years before we decided to have a child, but we still sometimes have trouble finding the balance between being a good wife or husband and being a good parent. At times, it doesn't seem possible to be both. In many ways having a child strengthens your marriage. When I see Marcos giving Rory a bath or chasing her around in the backyard, I fall in love with him all over again. But parenthood also tests and challenges your marriage in ways you never thought possible. When you're running on very little sleep and the house is a mess and your baby won't stop crying, it can be difficult to remember your spouse's good qualities.
My point is that marriage is a lot of work, and the love you have for your child often overshadows the love you feel for your partner. Parenthood is all-consuming and it's easy to forget that you were a wife before you were a mother. I used to balk at the idea that your husband should come before your children, but now I understand the importance of a strong, healthy marriage when it comes to being a good parent. Not only must you set a positive example of marriage for your kids, but inevitably your kids will grow up and (hopefully) leave the house to start families of their own. If your entire identity is based on being a mother and you've put your marriage on the back burner, your marriage may not survive the empty nest syndrome.
I'm not saying that having a baby before getting married is a good idea. Or a bad one, for that matter. I'm simply saying that a strong relationship with your partner is by far the best gift you can give your child.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Three Things Thursday
1. Mini Kitchen Make-Over
I was recently inspired by an article in HGTV Magazine titled "Everything Looks Better on a Tray". I decided tocopy exactly replicate one of the photos from the article and use a serving tray to corral all of our kitchen counter clutter: olive oil, utensils, salt and pepper, etc. Well, let me tell you, I am now a true believer: everything really does look better on a tray!
I also finally figured out what to display in our glass door cabinet. I've been doing a lot of baking lately, and I've come to the realization that I don't have enough mixing bowls, so I found these colorful ceramic nesting ones from Sur La Table, and not only do they make awesome batter-holders, they fit perfectly in our glass cabinet.
2. Goodwill
Okay, so I know what you're thinking: There's a fine line between wanting to save money and rummaging through used underwear, Lindsey. Get a grip. Marcos would agree with you. He has a special face reserved for the times I tell him something came from Goodwill. (Sort of a mix between smelling a fart and disbelief.) But have you been to a Goodwill lately? They're actually really nice and well organized. A new one recently opened close to our house and I have found some pretty amazing deals. For instance, yesterday, I found this Fisher Price shopping cart that currently retails on Amazon for $49 for $5! It's in perfect shape, and Rory spent this morning "shopping" for kitchen towels and outdated magazines.
I've also found a pair of Hanna Andersson Christmas pajamas for 50 cents, a Hanna Andersson Dress for $3, and a Widgeon fleece for $3 (The same one retails for $55 on Amazon!). The solid wood bench that now resides in our living room was $20. All it needed was a fresh coat of yellow paint and some cute throw pillows. So, if you don't mind hanging with the Goodwill crowd and doing some digging, it's definitely worth going.
3. Ebooks
I don't know why I waited so long, but last weekend I finally brought my ipad to our local library and asked one of the librarians to help me set up the ebook app. My main motivation was our trip to Mexico. I plan to spend the majority of my time theredrinking margaritas lounging by the pool and reading, but I don't want to lug books around, especially since we're flying Frontier, and they would probably charge by the letter. War and Peace? Good choice. That will be $1000, please. I still prefer reading from an actual book, but it's very easy to use and perfect for traveling.
I was recently inspired by an article in HGTV Magazine titled "Everything Looks Better on a Tray". I decided to
 |
| Tray-Chic |
I also finally figured out what to display in our glass door cabinet. I've been doing a lot of baking lately, and I've come to the realization that I don't have enough mixing bowls, so I found these colorful ceramic nesting ones from Sur La Table, and not only do they make awesome batter-holders, they fit perfectly in our glass cabinet.
 |
| Cute, right? |
2. Goodwill
Okay, so I know what you're thinking: There's a fine line between wanting to save money and rummaging through used underwear, Lindsey. Get a grip. Marcos would agree with you. He has a special face reserved for the times I tell him something came from Goodwill. (Sort of a mix between smelling a fart and disbelief.) But have you been to a Goodwill lately? They're actually really nice and well organized. A new one recently opened close to our house and I have found some pretty amazing deals. For instance, yesterday, I found this Fisher Price shopping cart that currently retails on Amazon for $49 for $5! It's in perfect shape, and Rory spent this morning "shopping" for kitchen towels and outdated magazines.
I've also found a pair of Hanna Andersson Christmas pajamas for 50 cents, a Hanna Andersson Dress for $3, and a Widgeon fleece for $3 (The same one retails for $55 on Amazon!). The solid wood bench that now resides in our living room was $20. All it needed was a fresh coat of yellow paint and some cute throw pillows. So, if you don't mind hanging with the Goodwill crowd and doing some digging, it's definitely worth going.
3. Ebooks
I don't know why I waited so long, but last weekend I finally brought my ipad to our local library and asked one of the librarians to help me set up the ebook app. My main motivation was our trip to Mexico. I plan to spend the majority of my time there
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
What We've Been...
Reading
I just checked out Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan from the library and intended to give it to Marcos in hopes that it may incite a hidden passion for literature (he's not much of a reader, but loves comedy); however, I made the mistake of reading the first chapter (I'm like a heroin addict when it comes to books: just a little isn't going to hurt.), and I haven't been able to put it down since. The whole book is about Gaffigan's observations about parenthood, a topic on which he has some authority considering he's a father of five living in a two bedroom apartment in NYC. I have literally laughed out loud through the entire book so far.
I recently read Wonder by R.J. Palacio, and it is one of the best books I've read in a long while. It's young adult and written in first person through the eyes of several different characters, all of which are connected in some way to August, a fifth-grader who was born with a severe facial abnormality. There is a quote from the book that has really stuck with me: Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.
Baking
Cinammon rolls! I've been wanting to try making my own cinnamon rolls for awhile now, but I couldn't seem to find a recipe that didn't involve yeast or buttermilk (both of which freak me out a little). Finally, I found this one: http://www.food.com/recipe/quick-cinnamon-rolls-no-yeast-293243, and they turned out great. I baked them in cupcake liners so they would be easy to give away to our neighbors. (I love to bake, but I have no self-control when it comes to sweets, so I inevitably give away the fruits of my labor to unsuspecting neighbors. Sometimes I just leave a plate of treats on their front porch and send them a text. Left cheesecake next to tricycle. Have fun getting fat.)
Internet Stalking
This kitchen helper from Amazon:
It's true what they say...the kitchen is the heart of the home. I'm constantly
cleaning/cooking/scrubbing stains in the kitchen, and Rory is constantly pulling on my leg/begging to be picked up/making stains in the kitchen. I would love for her to "help" me cook, or at least be able to see what's going on, and since setting a child on the counter isn't considered "safe", I feel like this would be the perfect solution to the 4 o'clock blues. (When I need to cook dinner and Rory needs to keep me from cooking dinner.) It's solid wood and folds up for easy storage. The only problem? It's $150. Kitchen helper people, if you're reading this, I would love to review this product on my blog if you would like to send me one. I'm sure my sister, my three friends, and the handful of people who are accidentally directed to this site would love to read about it.
Painting
I found an old wooden sewing table for $20 on an online garage sale, and I plan to turn it into a bar. I found some inspiration on Pinterest:
I'm going to seal it with all-weather seal once I paint it so that I can use it inside and outside. (Note to self: I must also purchase a small chalkboard to use with my sewing table bar.)
I just checked out Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan from the library and intended to give it to Marcos in hopes that it may incite a hidden passion for literature (he's not much of a reader, but loves comedy); however, I made the mistake of reading the first chapter (I'm like a heroin addict when it comes to books: just a little isn't going to hurt.), and I haven't been able to put it down since. The whole book is about Gaffigan's observations about parenthood, a topic on which he has some authority considering he's a father of five living in a two bedroom apartment in NYC. I have literally laughed out loud through the entire book so far.
I recently read Wonder by R.J. Palacio, and it is one of the best books I've read in a long while. It's young adult and written in first person through the eyes of several different characters, all of which are connected in some way to August, a fifth-grader who was born with a severe facial abnormality. There is a quote from the book that has really stuck with me: Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.
Baking
Cinammon rolls! I've been wanting to try making my own cinnamon rolls for awhile now, but I couldn't seem to find a recipe that didn't involve yeast or buttermilk (both of which freak me out a little). Finally, I found this one: http://www.food.com/recipe/quick-cinnamon-rolls-no-yeast-293243, and they turned out great. I baked them in cupcake liners so they would be easy to give away to our neighbors. (I love to bake, but I have no self-control when it comes to sweets, so I inevitably give away the fruits of my labor to unsuspecting neighbors. Sometimes I just leave a plate of treats on their front porch and send them a text. Left cheesecake next to tricycle. Have fun getting fat.)
Internet Stalking
This kitchen helper from Amazon:
It's true what they say...the kitchen is the heart of the home. I'm constantly
cleaning/cooking/scrubbing stains in the kitchen, and Rory is constantly pulling on my leg/begging to be picked up/making stains in the kitchen. I would love for her to "help" me cook, or at least be able to see what's going on, and since setting a child on the counter isn't considered "safe", I feel like this would be the perfect solution to the 4 o'clock blues. (When I need to cook dinner and Rory needs to keep me from cooking dinner.) It's solid wood and folds up for easy storage. The only problem? It's $150. Kitchen helper people, if you're reading this, I would love to review this product on my blog if you would like to send me one. I'm sure my sister, my three friends, and the handful of people who are accidentally directed to this site would love to read about it.
Painting
I found an old wooden sewing table for $20 on an online garage sale, and I plan to turn it into a bar. I found some inspiration on Pinterest:
I'm going to seal it with all-weather seal once I paint it so that I can use it inside and outside. (Note to self: I must also purchase a small chalkboard to use with my sewing table bar.)
Monday, December 1, 2014
What All (Honest) Moms are Thankful For
1. Crockpots
2. Coffee
3. Articles that say dragging your kids to the grocery store and Target is actually good for their language development.Who cares that it's from the Huffington Post and not actually research-based or that their first word might be "sale"? Down with mom guilt!
4. Him, him, and him.
5. Those nights when you seem to have misplaced (read:hid) Goodnight Moon and you are temporarily relieved from the monotonous task of saying goodnight to every effing thing in the room.
6. Empty spice bottles, make-up brushes, and any other random object that keeps your kid occupied for 30 seconds so you can pee in peace.
7. When baby cries for "dada". We all pretend it hurts our feelings, but really we are just grateful for the five minutes to ourselves while dada puts baby to bed/feeds them dinner/gives them a bath.
8. The fact that messy buns, flowy shirts, and boyfriend jeans are all in style right now.
9. Wine/Beer/Margaritas
10. Bedtime
Here are some pictures from our Thanksgiving weekend.
2. Coffee
3. Articles that say dragging your kids to the grocery store and Target is actually good for their language development.Who cares that it's from the Huffington Post and not actually research-based or that their first word might be "sale"? Down with mom guilt!
4. Him, him, and him.
5. Those nights when you seem to have misplaced (read:hid) Goodnight Moon and you are temporarily relieved from the monotonous task of saying goodnight to every effing thing in the room.
6. Empty spice bottles, make-up brushes, and any other random object that keeps your kid occupied for 30 seconds so you can pee in peace.
7. When baby cries for "dada". We all pretend it hurts our feelings, but really we are just grateful for the five minutes to ourselves while dada puts baby to bed/feeds them dinner/gives them a bath.
8. The fact that messy buns, flowy shirts, and boyfriend jeans are all in style right now.
9. Wine/Beer/Margaritas
10. Bedtime
Here are some pictures from our Thanksgiving weekend.
 |
| Rory waiting for dinner to be served. |
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| We spent Thanksgiving with our friends Shannon and Simon and another family. We had a wonderful time. |
 |
| Rory drawing with chalk outside of one of our favorite Denver hot spots: Park Burger. |
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| Playing in the backyard. |
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| Cheesin' for the camera in front of the Christmas tree. |
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