30 Things Rory Should Know About Me: Part 1

I write this blog for a variety of reasons, but I consider the most important to be chronicling life with Rory. I want her to be able to look back at any point and see herself as a baby and read about both our struggles and triumphs. She won't remember her first word, the first time she ate solid food, or her first steps, but she will be able to see pictures of and read all about these important milestones on this blog. Sort of like an electronic baby book. But, I also blog about other, more personal things. So, when Rory is able to read, this blog will also be a great way for her to get to know me as a real person and not just her mom.

I stumbled upon the 30 Things Challenge while reading another mom's blog, and I knew immediately that I wanted to try it. As part of the challenge, I will write 30 different posts, each with a different theme, but all of which reveal something about myself that I feel Rory should know. Here is the list:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears 
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse. 
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses strengths you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

The first of the 30 things posts requires me to list 20 random facts about myself. So, here goes...

1. I'm scared of space.

2. I didn't have curly hair until high school.

3. I used to want to be a journalist.

4. I graduated 5th in my high school class.

5. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18.

6. I still get nervous when I drive on the highway.

7. I couldn't swallow a pill until my senior year of high school.

8. I hate nail polish.

9. I don't know how to whistle.

10. Or do a cartwheel.

11. I'm scared of throwing up.

12. I hate action movies.

13. I won't drink anything hot. Even in the winter, I get iced coffee.

14. I am a morning person. I prefer to go to bed early and wake up early.

15. My favorite thing to do is curl up on the couch in my pajamas with a good book.

16. Breakfast is my favorite meal. Eggs? Good. Pancakes? Good. Donuts? Realllly good.

17. I love vacuuming. I especially love the sound the vacuum makes when it picks up dirt.

18. One of my favorite things to do is take off my bra clothes after a long day and put on pajamas.

19. My mood is deeply affected by the weather.

20. I never knew I could love someone as much as I love you.

Gratitude

I don't do New Years Resolutions, because let's face it, they're made to be broken. But, I do like to make several long and short term goals each year to help me focus my self-improvement efforts. It doesn't always work ("be more patient" has been one of my goals since 2008), but writing down (or blogging about) my goals seems to give birth to an inner voice that's impossible to ignore. (i.e. "Do you know how much sugar is in that?", "You checked facebook less than ten minutes ago", and "Sweatpants again?") Although the usual suspects made my list again this year (eat less carbs, learn Portuguese, take more pictures), I added another one that I'm actively working towards each and every day: gratitude.

I'll admit that I'm a complainer by nature. Being the youngest of six will do that to you. My husband will be the first to tell you that I tend to get worked up about ridiculous minor things. An incident involving pho comes to mind. (But seriously, how do you forget to put tofu in vegetarian pho?!)

The older I become, the more I realize how fortunate I am. I have my health, supportive family and friends, a nice house in a wonderful neighborhood, and most importantly, a beautiful, healthy daughter that I am able to stay home with. So then why is it so hard to be thankful for the wonderful things in my life? Why am I constantly thinking about the things I don't have?

Rather than be thankful for the fact that we are homeowners in a wonderful area of Denver, I worry that our house isn't big enough. And instead of feeling grateful that I have a healthy baby girl sleeping in the room next to mine, I feel frustrated that she isn't sleeping through the night yet. I know I am very fortunate, yet I have to constantly remind myself to live in the moment appreciate what I have. So many people in this world have far less than I do and have faced far greater obstacles. I've read many stories about people who are grateful (grateful!) that they were diagnosed with cancer or some other life-threatening disease because it made them appreciate the beauty in everyday things. That's great, but I don't want to be on my death bed before I realize how wonderful life really is.

So, I've decided to make a conscious effort to change my way of thinking. I haven't gone as far as to start a gratitude journal (I don't want to set myself up for failure), but as soon as I catch myself complaining about something, anything, (the wait at the post office, a short nap, too much laundry), I try to immediately turn it into something positive.

So, "It's only 1:00? This has been the longest day ever," turns into "I'm so glad I get to stay home with my daughter instead of dropping her off at daycare."

And "Do you really need to eat at 2:00 in the morning?" turns into "One day soon you will be too big to rock in my arms, so I am going to savor every minute I have with you."

And "Ugh there's nothing to eat," turns into "String cheese and a banana....mmmmm."

And "Marcos' parents will be here for ten whole days" turns into "...."

Okay, so sometimes it's a struggle, but the more I do it, the easier it becomes. Rory is the main motivation behind this positive undertaking. I want her to grow up seeing the good in every situation. I want her to realize that she is lucky for so many reasons. And most importantly, I want her to think of others less fortunate than herself. I realize that in order for her to grow up with a sense of gratitude, I must model it on a daily basis. Children learn by example, and I definitely don't want her to be that kid. You know the one. The kid that complains her cookie isn't big enough or cries because she has to wait in line at Disney World. The kid you want to punch in the face.

So, even though expressing gratitude is something I struggle with, I don't want to pass this struggle on to Rory. So, I will continue to practice living in the moment and performing acts of gratitude in hopes that my daughter will learn to do the same. One thing's for certain, no matter how miserable I feel or how bad a day I've had, there is always something for which I will be eternally grateful. And that something is fast asleep upstairs in her crib.

My Favorite Things About Breastfeeding

Wow! What a difference a few months can make! Eight weeks ago, I never would have thought that I would use the words "favorite" and "breastfeeding" in the same sentence. It was a long road, but Rory and I have made it through the worst, and dare I say it...I actually enjoy breastfeeding now. Here's a list of what I consider to be the best things about breastfeeding:

1. The Extra Calories
Are you really surprised that this is first on the list? I'm talking 500 extra calories a day. I could do an hour of cardio and still not burn that many calories. Instead, I get to sit on my butt all day and  not feel guilty about indulging in ice cream or french fries. In fact, if I don't eat enough, my supply is affected. There are days when I actually have to push myself to eat more. There will never be another time in my life when I can say, "My baby's health depends on this second brownie."

2. It Keeps Me in Check
Even though breastfeeding requires additional calories, the majority of those calories should be from healthy sources, and I like that breastfeeding reminds me to eat healthy as often as possible. Rory's primary food source is my breastmilk, which means she's getting 100% of her nutrition from me, and I want to make sure that I am providing her with every vitamin and mineral she needs for her development. Also, the one drink limit saves me from suffering from miserable hangovers.

3. Time Out
Lately my days seem to be filled with chaos. Between cleaning the house, doing laundry, playing with Rory, and sleep training, it's always a relief to get the the half hour break to breastfeed every three hours. Sometimes it's the only chance I get to check my email and play Candy Crush write important blog posts like this one.

4. The Bond
When I was struggling with breastfeeding, my mom friends encouraged me not to give up, and many of them described the amazing bond it creates between mother and child as the main motivation to keep at it. During the first few weeks, I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't feel that bond while breastfeeding. Mostly because I was in the worst pain of my life. But as the pain subsided and we got over the learning curve, I suddenly understood what they were talking about. When Rory looks into my eyes and smiles at me during one of our nursing sessions, the love I feel for her is like nothing else I've experienced before. And then she pulls my hair and the spell is broken.

5. The Health Factor
It's a great feeling knowing that I'm giving Rory everything she needs for her development and providing her with important immunity against common illnesses, including allergies and ear infections. Breastfed babies also have higher IQ's and a lower risk of SIDS.

6. It's the Ultimate Problem Solver
If Rory is tired, upset, or hurting, odds are all I have to do is stick a boob in her mouth and she will automatically be pacified. I read somewhere that breastmilk contains a natural painkiller, which is why many moms choose to nurse immediately after vaccines.

7. It Will End
Just because I enjoy breastfeeding, doesn't mean I'm not glad that it will end one day. Nursing can be exhausting, and some days I can't wait to have my body back. All good things must come to an end, but I sure am going to miss those extra calories.

Rory Keiko 5 Month Update

My Dearest Rory,

Every time someone asks me how old you are, I am surprised to hear myself say "5 months." And I'm constantly correcting myself when I say things like "I just had a baby" or "My newborn...", because the truth is I had a baby almost half a year ago (despite what my jeans are telling me), and you are no longer considered a newborn. Sometimes I swear you wake up bigger than when you went to bed. The only good thing about you growing so fast is that you are more and more fun to be around.

You are fascinated by everything. Even watching me brush my teeth seems to be an amazing experience for you. This makes you very easy to entertain.  You love playing Peek-a-Boo, "talking", and reading books. Your daddy and I can recite "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" by heart now. You also like "touring" the house. Sometimes daddy and I will just carry you from room to room and show you things like the buttons on the washing machine or how the faucet works. You watch and listen to everything so intently.Watching Marli is still your favorite activity, and we spend a big portion of our day rousing her from her sleeping spot on the couch so we can run around with her outside.

One of the most exciting things that happened this month was your first trip to the pool at Eastridge Rec Center. You had so much fun floating around in the pool with mommy and daddy, and you looked very cute in you purple polka dot bathing suit. You also took your first road trip to Fort Collins. We met Auntie Karla and Uncle Jack at the New Belgium Brewery. Despite the deviation from your routine, you did a great job, and you were definitely the main attraction on the tour.

You are able to spend longer periods on your tummy and you are trying very hard to sit up on your own. Daddy installed a security camera on  your crib so that we can watch you while you sleep (or don't sleep!). He even connected it to an IP address, so your aunties and grandparents can watch you, too. The best part is that we can talk to you through the camera! Nap time is still a struggle, but you're getting there. You set a record last week with a 2 and a half hour nap!

My favorite times of day are when you first wake up and when you go to bed each night. You are so happy in the mornings. Daddy can't wait until you wake up so he can see you before he goes to work. You always reward him with a huge smile when he comes to get you from your crib. I also look forward to our bedtime routine every night. We give you a bath, read you a book (guess which one!), and then I nurse you before we put you in your crib. It's the only time of day that all three of us are together and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

You love your Exercaucer!

Auntie Whitney gave you this giraffe. We take it everywhere and you sleep with it every night. 

Rory and mommy at the New Belgium Brewery.

Rory and daddy on the brewery tour. If you're anything like your Irish side of the family, you will enjoy beer and vodka immensely one day. 

Rory and daddy before bathtime. How cute are those buns?! 

You found your thumb! 

Swimming at the rec center. We will be starting swim lessons soon! I apologize in advance for the ridiculous amount of sunscreen I will make you wear. 

11 Things I wish I had Known About Baby Sleep

I know, I know; enough with the sleep posts already. But now that we're in the thick of it, it's all I can think about. It's been about four weeks since we started "sleep-training", and even though I'm optimistic about the progress we've made, there are still several things I would have done differently. Here's a list of things I wish I had known from the beginning.

1. Every baby is different. 
I keep in touch with two women from my prenatal baby class and our babies are all months apart, so it's easy to compare when it comes to things like infant milestones and sleep habits. One baby has slept through the night pretty much since birth! I've realized that some babies are just born good sleepers while others need time to develop those sleep milestones. Maybe your baby is a short napper. Maybe your baby needs more/less sleep than the average baby. I've read several message boards written by moms of twins who have one baby that sleeps well and one that doesn't. How can babies with the exact same parents and exposed to the exact same sleep environments produce such different results? Because every baby is different, that's why.

2. No single technique is 100% effective.
I think I've read every sleep book there is. I quickly discovered that when I strictly followed a specific plan outlined in a specific book written by a specific author, Rory's sleep habits suffered rather than improved. I believe that's because I didn't allow myself to deviate from the plan, even if I knew certain aspects didn't work for me or my baby. I've had much more success with using strategies from various plans and piecing them together to create my own sleep training method. 


3. There will probably be (some) tears. 
In the beginning of this process, I would rush into Rory's nursery as soon as she made a peep. I thought that if I let her cry, it meant that I was a terrible parent and Rory would be emotionally scarred forever. I was determined to sleep train using only cry-free techniques, and for the most part we have, but I quickly realized that sometimes I had to let her cry. Often she will wake-up mid-nap, fuss for about 10 minutes and then go back to sleep. I know now that allowing Rory to cry while she attempts to put herself back to sleep doesn't make me a bad parent. I am simply providing her with an opportunity to practice self-soothing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Marcos and I agreed on a crying time-limit, and if she cries past this, we go in and get her.

4. It's 2 steps forward, 1 step back.
Some days Rory will nap for 1.5 hours without waking up, and the next day her longest nap is 30 minutes. This is why it's important to keep a sleep log. It allows you to see the forest through the trees and realize that you are making progress, even if some days it feels as though you're moving backwards. Yesterday I called Marcos crying because Rory only napped for 20 minutes two days in a row and I was exhausted and frustrated. Now, as I write this post, she's been napping for over an hour. Two steps forward, one step back.

5. It's all trial and error. 
I wish I had a minute of sleep for every time Marcos and I have tried something new in an attempt to extend Rory's naps. Maybe her cloth diapers are uncomfortable? Nope. Maybe her room is too hot? Nope again. Maybe her sound machine isn't loud enough? Nope, nope, nope. However, through trial and error we have discovered that she needs her room to be very dark and she does best when we put her sleep suit on her before reading her a book.

6. Some sleep milestones are developmental. 
This is one of my favorites because it takes some of the pressure off of me. Sometimes they just aren't ready to sleep through the night, self-soothe, or consolidate day sleep, no matter what you do or how much you push. It's like expecting a 2-month-old to walk. All you can do is give them plenty of opportunities to practice.

7. Every day is a chance to start over. 
I have to remind myself of this almost every single day. If Rory has three short naps and is cranky in between, I know that tomorrow she will wake up with a smile and we can try again.

8. Trust your instincts. 
I get angry just thinking about all the times I told my inner self to "shut-up" and instead followed the advice I had read in one of the baby sleep books, only to realize later on that I was right all along. No one knows your baby like you do. Even if all the books are telling you to do things one way, only you know if it's the right thing for you and your baby. If it feels wrong, it probably is.

9. Respect your baby's need for sleep.
Did I ever tell you about the time Marcos and I had to leave a dinner party before dinner was even served because Rory was so exhausted she was practically delirious? Babies need lots of sleep. It contributes to both their mental and physical development and serves the purpose of storing newly learned information in their brains. Like you, babies' bodies may be resting during sleep, but their brains are hard at work. If you want your baby to get the appropriate amount of sleep, you will most likely have to say "no" to things like running errands in the middle of the day or going to happy hour with your coworkers. One of my favorite things to do is watch Marcos play soccer, but I learned (the hard way) that I can't go to his games because I end up with an overtired baby. It's hard, but it's just one of the many sacrifices we make as parents. Plus, most nights Rory is in bed by 7, and that gives me plenty of time to run to the store or meet a friend for dinner.

10. Routine, routine, routine! 
A common thread I discovered in virtually every baby sleep book I read was the importance of establishing a sleep routine and putting baby down at the same time every night. If your baby goes to bed around the same time each night, she will most likely wake up around the same time each morning, making it much easier to develop a consistent nap routine. If you give your child a bath before bed each night, she will come to expect it and take it as a sign that bedtime is near. Children (and many adults) thrive on routine, and you benefit as well. If your child goes to bed at a different time every night or naps at a different time every afternoon, how can you possibly know what to expect or make any plans? Of course, there is an element of flexibility involved. Your baby doesn't have to wake up at the exact time to the minute every single day. Unfortunately, it often seems like just when you've established an effective routine, your baby starts teething or has a growth spurt, and everything changes once again.

11. If it's not a problem for you, then it's not a problem. 
So, your baby will only nap in a swing or the carseat? If it doesn't bother you, who cares? As long as your baby is getting enough sleep and you're okay with it, I wouldn't consider it a problem. Sometimes you just have to let things go.

My techy-husband set up a surveillance camera in Rory's room so we can watch her sleep from anywhere.  

Rory's First Trip to the Liquor Store

I felt it should be documented. You know, for future throwback Thursdays and flashback Fridays.

Putting Our Tax Return to Good Use

We are getting our basement finished in June (yay!), and the plan is to put both a bathroom and a bedroom downstairs so that Marcos' parents visitors can stay down there without disturbing the baby. We are going to put our current bedroom furniture in the basement once it's finished which means I get to have fun designing our new bedroom. The goal is to spend no more than our tax return, so we're on a tight budget, because according to the US government, we make too much money. (Ha!)

The first step was to decide on a color palette. I scoured Pinterest (seriously, what did people do before pinterest?) and decided on this palette:



The plan is to paint a gray accent wall behind the bed and use teal, white, and gray furniture throughout the room.

I fell in love with these curtains from Urban Outfitters. I bought them this morning because I don't want them to disappear from internet land.



Because we're on a budget, one of the first places I looked for affordable furniture was Target. I love pretty much everything in their Threshold collection, so I knew I would find what I was looking for: quality furniture that doesn't break the bank. We are currently deciding between these nightstands.





We already have a bedframe, so most likely we will just buy a new headboard. So far, I like this one from Amazon the best.



That leaves the dresser and bookshelves. I like this dresser from Ikea:



And I like this TV cabinet and these bookshelves from Target:



I was thinking that we could put the cabinet with the TV on top in the middle of the wall opposite the bed with one bookshelf on either side. We just need to make sure it won't make the room look too crowded.

I think these prints from Etsy would look great on the walls:



We will need new lamps for our bedside tables, and I like these from Target paired with a white, gray, or teal base:


 

I'm excited to see it all put together. Hopefully it will look as good in real-life as it does in my head!

Cloth Diaper Update: New Wash Routine

A few months ago, I wrote a post about my CD wash routine, and I mentioned that I didn't have any issues with stink or ammonia yet. Well readers, that all changed last week when I opened the lid to the washer after my normal wash routine and the strong stench of ammonia hit me like a ton of bricks. Okay, it wasn't that bad, but I knew I should do something about it before it got worse. So, I did a lot of research, and came to the conclusion that my diapers had detergent build up, which is apparently pretty common in top-load HE washers.

So, once again, I had to rework my wash routine. I realized that I was using quite a bit of products on my dipes: detergent, oxiclean, stainstick, Bacout...It's no wonder there was build up. I decided that instead of putting oxiclean on all of my diapers, I would soak the dirty diapers separately. I bought a small white trashcan and filled it with an oxiclean/water mixture. Now, whenever Rory has a dirty diaper, I place it in the small bin to soak. By the time it's time to wash the diapers, the stains have usually completely disappeared, which also eliminates the need for the stainstick, except for very stubborn stains. When it's time to wash, I simply dump the whole bucket in the washer.

I spoke to a few other CD moms and several of them recommended that I try a powder detergent instead of the liquid one I was using. I was resistant to this at first because the CD-friendly powder detergents aren't available at the local grocery store, and I didn't want to be caught detergent-less on a wash day. But, Marcos and I recently signed up for Amazon prime, which means we have free 2-day shipping on most products. Problem solved. I went with Country Save because it's cheap and had great reviews.

Most of the posts I read about ammonia caused by detergent build-up emphasized the importance of rinsing in order to ensure that all residue is removed from the diapers. So, my new wash routine is as follows:

1. Hot wash set on bulky with an extra rinse, using 1/4 C Country Save detergent. 

2. Hot wash set on bulky with an extra rinse, no detergent.

Obviously this could change in the upcoming weeks/months, but so far, so good!